Time to turn in your keyboard

When do you know it’s time to turn in your keyboard and give up on your dream of being a professional writer? When you write crap like this. Even though you may be paid to write, you’re an embarrassment to yourself and your high school English teacher. And sooner or later, the powers at Yahoo! Shine will decide that you’re an embarrassment to your employer, too.

If you can’t hold down the Shift key long enough to type East Coast, you may be ready for a new career:

If you don’t know that a comma belongs between a city and state, and that 31,000 square feet is preferable to any other number of square foot, you should consider consulting a career counselor:

If you think lets is an actual contraction and that you can join two independent clauses with nothing but a comma, start clearing out your desk:

If you think you’re free to handle numbers with numerals, words, or some combination of the two without regard to correct style, and if you think you can be creative with capitalization, pack up your coffee mug and your copy of “Blogging for Dummies.”

But the final error, which should be the last straw in your employment, is the link to myhamptonshomes.com. Why? Because in an article about a mansion in New York, you probably don’t want to lead your readers to homes in the Hamptons in Calgary, Alberta.

You can leave your badge with guard at the security desk.

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