His mistress’s mistake

What’s missing from this mistress’ on the Yahoo! front page? Just the S that would make it a real possessive:

Let’s just double everything

I know there are double letters in his name, but I can’t remember which letters. I could Google his name, but I work for Yahoo! Movies and that level of dedication to accuracy is totally unnecessary. I’ll just double up all the Ls and Rs:

Well, that’s pretty close to spelling Colin Farrell. Wrong, but pretty close.

Previewing your posts

Do you preview your blog posts before you publish them? If not, you might want to after taking a look at this headline from Yahoo! News:

What that means is a mystery. Maybe the article will unlock the hidden message:

Yep. Mystery solved. The editors at Yahoo! News are, uh, not conscientious. Previewing the headline and article might have been a wise move, no?

Try removing the clothespin

There’s usually a reason that people smell badly. A head cold, a sinus infection, or a clothespin clipped to your nose can all result in smelling badly.

But if you smell bad, you might try changing your deodorant. And if you write badly, you probably work on the Yahoo! front page.

Is that even legal?

Is it legal to hang an official in the White House? And does it require the presence of a former president?

I’m sure there’s a good explanation for this and the people at the Yahoo! front page will reveal it.

A nitwit is born

It’s harsh, but it’s true. The writer for Yahoo! Shine is something of a nitwit. Or a twit. Who do you think she was writing about in this photo caption?

Need help? Probably not, because you are smart, but just in case, here’s the accompanying picture.

Who in the world doesn’t recognize Paul McCartney?

It’s just not my style

Most large media companies employ more than one writer. They also employ a style guide — a set of formalized rules and guidelines that writers and editors are expected to adhere to (or as Yahoo! writers might say, “to which they are expected to adhere).

Yahoo! has no such style guide. It’s unclear if it even has editors. But it does have writers, and they’re uninhibited by the conventions of consistency. So, that means that on the Yahoo! front page you can see two possible ways of creating a possessive from a name ending in S:

In one camp you have the adherents to the Associated Press style: Form the possessive of a name ending in S by adding only an apostrophe. Then you have those who follow the Chicago Manual of Style: Form the possessive by adding an apostrophe and an S.

Which is correct? Either one. It’s a matter of style. Pick one and stick with it. It really is that simple. (As for the feminine fiancée, I dealt with that two posts ago and it’s still incorrect on yahoo.com.)

You don’t know beans!

Looking for a new recipe for a white bean salad made with cannellini? Well, this one from Yahoo! Shine wouldn’t be it:

The Einstein writer, who seems to be challenged in the culinary arts, doesn’t know her cannelloni from her cannellini. This is cannelloni:

And this is the white beans known as cannellini:

And this is not exactly unexpected. It is from Yahoo!, after all.

Letting the kids near the keyboard

This is what happens when you let youngsters near a keyboard. They think they can write. And then they think their brilliant pearls must be published. Apparently someone at Yahoo! News‘ “Today in Tech” agrees. And the result is not pretty.

The kids these days just don’t get punctuation, putting commas where they don’t belong. They repeat themselves and offer the most obvious of facts as if they were sparkling diamonds of wisdom. They tell you an anniversary is the “30th year anniversary,” because they mark their relationships in weeks and months. They tell you this year is “this 2012″ — to distinguish it from that other 2012. And they mangle clichés, mixing them with half thoughts, as if you, dear reader, possess unerring ESP:

They can’t spell and they don’t use a spell-checker. (To them archaeological just looks funny, though it’s correct.) They don’t know how to express dimensions when they come before a noun (it should be “10-foot by 10-foot”), and haven’t learned the benefits of proofreading.

This is what happens when today’s kids are free to write however they choose. And you know what else happens? If they’re writing for Yahoo!, they actually get paid for it. What a world.

Britney Spears’ secret engagement

Is  Britney Spears secretly engaged to a woman? That’s what it says on the Yahoo! front page:

An engaged male is a fiancé; an engaged female, a fiancée

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