Maybe if you’re speaking Cockney

Maybe if the writer for the Yahoo! front page were reading this with a Cockney accent, this would be OK:

Hey, bloke, it ain’t an ‘istoric comeback, it’s a historic comeback. Here in the U.S., we pronounce the H in history, historic, and historical, and the correct indefinite article in front of those words is a, not an. If you don’t pronounce the H, then use an before the noun. You’re welcome. It’s been an honor to serve you.

Betty Blooper

Imagine you’re the senior fashion and beauty editor for Yahoo! Shine, one of the top sites for women in the U.S. And imagine you wrote this caption for a picture of Betty Boop:

Now imagine you have no idea what Ms. Boop wears on her thigh. So you call it a garter belt, unaware that a garter belt goes around the waist because IT IS A BELT. Does this look like a belt?

It’s a garter, which is also used to hold up one’s stockings. But it is not a belt. Imagine your embarrassment.

Adult supervision required

A little adult supervision over at Yahoo! News’ “Who Knew” might result in fewer third-grade mistakes:

Who includes both a dollar sign with the word dollar — not to mention capitalizing the word million? Certainly not a high school graduate. Who doesn’t know that the compound adjective high-profile needs a hyphen while out of love doesn’t need any? Certainly not an eighth grade graduate. If you’re going to hire children, make sure you have adult supervision for them.

A bigger Ferris wheel

A bigger Ferris wheel, with a capital F, would be great on the Yahoo! front page:

It gets its name from George Washington Gale Ferris, who designed the first one in 1893 for the World’s Columbian Exposition in Chicago.

Questioning his principals?

So, was there an investigation going on? Were the cops looking into some guy’s educational background, and questioning his schools’ principals?

Or was the Yahoo! Shine writer confusing a school administrator, or principal, with a rule or standard, aka a principle.?

Changing your tune

You can change your tune and you can soften your tone. Can you soften your tune? Yup, according to the Yahoo! front page:

Is “soften tune” an expression that’s gone mainstream while I was watching “Judge Judy”?

Remember when?

This isn’t something new. Writers for Yahoo! misspell names every day. In fact, they’ve misspelled nearly 1200 names that I know of. So, I wasn’t surprised to see Rachael Ray’s name mangled on Yahoo! Shine:

It just reminded me of the time when someone from Yahoo! decided to impersonate Rachael Ray and wrote an entire blog post under the byline “Rachel Ray.” Everytime I read “Rachel Ray” on Yahoo! I think of that bit of “journalism” and remember that editorial integrity is not something I should expect from the Internet giant.

When is it too much?

How many typos does it take before you ditch a Web site for a well-written and proofread magazine? Would you give up reading the Yahoo! front page if you saw this typo that even the crappiest spell-checker could find?

Or would it take this one to turn you off?

Or would it take two more gaffes that an actual human proofreader could find here:

and here?

Nice proofreading job!

Sometimes, it doesn’t matter who carefully you proofread an article, a little typo will slip through. I get it. But sometimes you don’t bother to proofread a headline, and you end up looking like a horse’s behind. I’m thinking of this on the home page of Yahoo! Shine:

Tell me: What is the likelihood that this simple 9-word headline was proofread?

What’s next?

Really? When the writers for the Yahoo! front page started putting dog’s names in quotation marks, I couldn’t help but wonder what was next.

Maybe we ought to put the name of every animal in quotation marks. Roy Rogers rode “Trigger,” while Dale Evans rode “Buttermilk.” And who can forget those other famous equines, “Phar Lap” and “Secretariat”? I’m thinking if animal names are in quotation marks, shouldn’t people’s names be in quotes, too?

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