Please return to third grade

If you think this is correct, you should return to third grade, where you should have learned that you don’t form a plural with an apostrophe:

fp ornaments apos

Oh, you should also take the writer for the Yahoo! front page with you.

Breaking news: GOP endorsed Clay Aiken!

In news that is sure to come as a shock to the American people, yahoo.com announced that the Republican Party quietly endorsed singer, actor, and “American Idol” runner-up Clay Aiken:

fp aiken

I’m gobsmacked. First, I didn’t even know Mr. Aiken was running for office. Second, Mr. Aiken is an out-of-the-closet gay man with a child by a woman he is not married to. He’s an unlikely candidate to receive the endorsement of conservatives. And third, the GOP quietly endorsed Todd Akin, too. How could the Grand Old Party justify endorsing two radically different men?

It needs an S!

I imagine a conversation between a writer and an editor for yahoo.com going something like this:

Editor: I just read your headline “Student rent out puppies.”

Writer: And?

Editor: And it needs an S.

Writer: I’m on it!

And this is the result:

fp students rend

It looks good, except there was only one student.

Turn in your keyboard and no one gets hurt

Some people should not be allowed near a keyboard, especially if their digital scribblings could be seen by millions of people. The “writer” for Yahoo! Screen‘s “Broken News Daily” is one of those people.

news witchita

If you can’t spell Wichita and can’t be bothered to Google it, you should probably give up your dream of being paid to write. If you think it’s OK to include both a dollar sign and the word dollar, and you don’t know that Scrooge said, “Bah! Humbug,” then you should just turn in your keyboard. And all writing implements within your reach. And don’t ever, ever try to write again.

Car ≠ truck

Demonstrating once again that a limited (and inaccurate) vocabulary is no impediment to holding down a writing job, a staffer for the Yahoo! front page decides that car is a synonym for truck:

fp truck car

Maybe after using the word car twice, the writer wanted to add a little variety to the text. Unable to come up with the word vehicle, the writer pulls car out of his or her ass.

Whom to blame for this

Whom do you blame for this grammatical gaffe on Yahoo! Shine — the writer or the editor?

who to tip shine

Kerry Washington scandal

It’s a scandalous treatment of Kerry Washington on Yahoo! Shine:

name kerry wasington

OK, I exaggerate. It’s really just a misspelling. But it still sucks.

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