I coulda died laughin’

I nearly spit out my sugar-free vanilla nonfat vendi latte when I read this on Yahoo! Sports‘ “Prep Rally”:

die sports pr 1

Just to prove it wasn’t a careless mistake, the writer makes it again:

die sports pr 2

That’s when I thought I would die laughing.

I could have dyed!

Oh, Yahoo! Movies, you’re killin’ me!

died my hair movies

And then the hair died

It’s a dyed-in-the-wool homophonic error on Yahoo! News‘ “The Lookout”:

Dyeing and dead hair

Talk about bad luck! According to Yahoo! Shine a woman’s hair was dying (but maybe not completely dead), then she nearly died herself:

Thank goodness she wasn’t also coloring her hair! Dyeing her hair could have caused an allergic reaction that would surely lead to her demise.

Please turn in your keyboard

When a writer is so out of touch with the English language, it’s time she consider another career. One that doesn’t involve a computer and keyboard. Even if she works for Yahoo! Shine.

When you can’t figure out where to put quotation marks around the titles of TV shows like “The Bachelor” and “Real World,” you may just be over your head, punctuation-wise. If you think that the past tense of compete is, uh, compete, you might rethink your career choice. And if you don’t know that segue is pronounced seg-way and that seguewayed would be pronounced seg-way-wade,  perhaps an English as a Second Language class should be in your future. 

In grammatical terms, those are turnoffs.

Oh, god, the tragedy that is your writing! Do you mean to tell us that someone on “The Bachelor” is a dyed-in-the-wool victim of sheep-shearing?

I get that writing isn’t a religious quest for you. If it were, perhaps you’d know that a singular noun like man should be referred to by singular pronouns like his, he, he’s, and him:

Please, for the sake of language-lovers everywhere, turn in your keyboard:

A maxi dress tie-die for!

I’d dying to see what’s next from the writer of “The Thread” on Yahoo! Shine, because I just love her sense of humor:

tie-die shine thread

Ha-ha. I’m a kidder. I don’t think this blunder was meant to be funny. Maybe the writer is just a dyed-in-the-wool rebel who loves to flout her contempt for traditional spelling.

Every day children dye

It is a sad truth: Every day children throughout America dye. Fortunately for most, dying is not a potentially life-threatening activity. But the writer of this poll on Yahoo! omg! should be dying of embarrassment: 

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