The odds of being struck by lightning are about the same as the odds of finding an error-free article on Yahoo! News’ “Who Knew?”
I wonder how many mistakes a writer for yahoo.com has to make before being fired. In some situations, someone could be terminated with lightning-fast speed, especially if they made a mistake like this:
If Yahoo! actually employed editors and proofreaders, removing weak writers could be lightening their load.
Sometimes being a writer is just soooo hard. You have to be able to use a computer and that keyboard thingie. You have to be able to write real words — and not just any words, they have to be the right words. But sometimes I get so nervous about trying to pick the absolutely, totally correct and awesome word, that I make a mistake.
Like just today, I was writing an article for Yahoo! Shine and I needed to find the right word to go before the word bolt. Was it lightning or lightening? If only there were some way to see which word to choose. Like a picture or something, ya know?
I remember what Mark Twain said. He was a great American writer. Mr. Twain said, “The difference between the right word and the nearly right word is the same as the difference between lightning and the lightning bug.” Or maybe he said “lightening and the lightening bug.”
Reading this article on Yahoo! Shine had me wondering: What happens when a “mega-mansion” is struck by lightening? It gets lighter. Black turns to gray; beige turns to white; red turns to pink. It could be worse: It could be struck by lightning. That would be bad. Like, burning up the house bad.
Not really bad, but really wrong was failure to capitalize Boy Scout:
A premiere is the opening or debut of a movie or play. Premier means “first in position or rank.” Guess which word the writer should have used here:
Oh, this is relatively unimportant after those errors, but the writer placed that period in the wrong place. It belongs after the right parenthesis because it applies to the entire sentence, not just the words in the parens.
Congratulations! You’ve won the Most Boneheaded Errors in Fewest Words award. I’m talking to you, the guy who wrote this for Yahoo! News‘ “The Lookout”:
Why this honor now? It’s simply in recognition of your inability to tell the difference between lightening and lightning (the thing that accompanies thunder). Your consideration for your readers, ensuring that they understand that dead birds were found dead (and not tweeting). Your profound ignorance of punctuation (including the use of the comma after a city and state) and creative spelling of what others would call New Year’s Day.
I’m sure you’ll want to make an acceptance speech. Please don’t thank your high school English teachers for helping you reach this pinnacle of journalism. I think they’d be a tad embarrassed.
I’m not sure how a round gets put on a diet or maybe grows paler, but I’m pretty sure the writer for Yahoo! Shine could tell us:
She could probably tell us why she has so much trouble with punctuation and with capitalizing trademarks like BlackBerry correctly:
There it is again! And it’s accompanied by some random capital letters in a common noun:
Oy. Let’s be clear: prime ministers and journalists are just like regular folks. They don’t get capital letters:
Did I miss anything in this article? Got more? Put ‘em in the comments, y’all: