From the Department of Redundancy Department, which is located just down the hall from Yahoo! Shine offices, we learn about must-have essentials that are probably also mandatory, required necessities:
The Yahoo! front page‘s pithy teasers are really pithy:
There’s just one to too many in this teaser on Yahoo! Sports:
Maybe the folks there are just having another bad day.
Did the editor proofread this? It might have been better if he had:
If it were possible to make a self-deprecating joke about someone else, it wouldn’t be self-deprecating, would it? The writer for Yahoo! Sports just wants to be sure that you understand that self means self:
I’m sure it must be difficult to write for a popular site like Yahoo! Shine, especially when you’re not familiar with the English language. Perhaps if a real editor had read this article, the writer wouldn’t be bumbling along, trying to come up with a simple word like bubblegum:
With help she might even learn that the dog breed is Dalmatian (or dalmatian):
Maybe the writer isn’t college-educated and hence, has a bit of trouble with with choosing the correct word:
If she had copped to not knowing the value of proofreading, I’d believe her:
An extra word, a missing word — all in a day’s work for a bumbling writer.
Yahoo! Celebrity used to be called omg!, but now we know that it’s a site about celebrities, not about exclamations by tweens. So, you gotta expect you’ll get expert info about celebrities.
Except that you won’t. The writers still can’t spell celeb names:
The couple’s friend is actually Challen Cates.
They also seem to be suffering from Alzheimer’s. They can’t remember that they already told us about October 2010. And they’re not too swift when it comes to basic arithmetic; July 2012 isn’t two years after October 2010:
And did I mention October 2010?
Don’t you get insulted when a writer “talks down” to you? I know I do! I hate it when a writer uses a vocabulary that is so unsophisticated that even a rhesus monkey could understand it. I lose patience when the simplest terms are explained in excruciating detail. I can’t stand it when the writer has to torture the language just so it’s grammatically correct.
If you’re like me, then you’ll enjoy reading this article on Yahoo! News! This writer is so sure that you’re a member in good standing of Mensa that he doesn’t bother to insure that pronouns have actual antecedents (even if he knew what an antecedent was):
He knows you don’t care if he drops the hyphen from the name of a newspaper. (It’s the Press-Citizen, but who really cares?) When you read that 2 AM is in the morning, you know he didn’t include that redundancy for you:
It’s not often that you read something by a professional writer that contains a grammatical gaffe like the incorrect past tense of a common verb. OK, so it is often, if you’re reading an article by a Yahoo! employee and the article reads like the writer had drunk one too many Bud Lights:
But that’s OK! It’s just a verb and you knew what he meant, right? And the missing hyphen (again) in Press-Citizen is no biggie. And you don’t have to know what PBT stands for, unless you’re a serious alcoholic, then you already know it’s short for preliminary breath test.
Wouldn’t you want to read about Chad Harvey while enjoying a helpful picture of someone named Matt Harvey? I know I would. Perhaps Matt Harvey is Chad Harvey’s brother. Or father. Or uncle. Or next-door neighbor, who looks enough like Chad to stand in for him in the article:
The writer has enough confidence in your mental acuity that he doesn’t have to tell you what a BAC is. Heck, he doesn’t even have to form its plural correctly; he’s sure you won’t mind if he throws an apostrophe in there. (By the way, for you Mennonites and others who shun alcohol, BAC stands for blood alcohol content. Or Bank of America Corp.)
Finally, when you think things couldn’t get worse, the writer does not disappoint:
Imagine not knowing where to put the correlative conjunction not only…but also. Imagine not knowing that the partner of not only is but also. But you know that. You would have written:
to have survived not only driving while intoxicated, but also the punishment they inflicted on their bodies.
to not only survive driving while intoxicated, but also survive the punishment they inflicted on their bodies.
But writing grammatically correct sentences is just patronizing your readers.
Instead of just writing and publishing your pearls, try writing, proofreading, and then publishing. It could just save you from the embarrassment suffered by this writer for Yahoo! Sports