Polish this off

How many goofs can you find in this excerpt of an article on Yahoo! DIY?

marbleized diy

Did you notice that “inspired by … paper” modifies “nail polish and water”? Yeah, that was awkward. I’m pretty sure the paper was the inspiration for the project and not for the polish. And then did you see that the writer thinks that is can be an appropriate verb for the plural subject “nail polish and water”? That was ugly.

There’s the misspelled lukewarm (it’s one word, not two), and the instruction to fill the tub halfway. But in the first numbered instruction, she tells us to fill it 3/4 full. Someone is a little confused and that would be the writer. And the reader.

That is a really, really odd adjective

Just how odd is that adjective mentioned on Yahoo! Sports? It’s so odd that it’s not an adjective at all; it’s a noun:

adjective sports

The word in question is sissies, a plural noun. If Yahoo! editors and writers think it’s an adjective, is it any wonder they make so many grammatical mistakes?

Rosaries of my ovaries

OK, so it’s not really my ovaries. And the message isn’t “get your rosaries of my ovaries,” even though that’s what you’ll read on Yahoo! Style:

lesley gore style

That should be “get your rosaries off my ovaries.” Don’t blame me; I don’t make this stuff up. You looking for someone to blame? Blame the writer who believes that Lesley Gore wrote “You Don’t Own Me.” She makes this stuff up.

The most disgusting piece of “journalism” you will read today

Here’s the worst piece of “journalism” you’ll read today and it’s from the brilliant mind of a writer for Yahoo! Style:

teigen

This pathetic excuse for a writer has accused the victim, a Canadian soldier, of perpetrating the crime. Disgraceful.

What did Bella Thorne attend?

Those wacky offshore writers at the Yahoo! front page are at it again! They just prove that you can’t always cross the cultural divide between the U.S. and the rest of the world:

fp prom

Some anonymous writer (who would probably like to keep it that way) thinks that Bella Thorne attended a prom. She did not. The event was a homecoming dance, and that is not the same thing as a prom. Any red-, white-, or blue-blooded American knows that.

It took a whole team to write this badly?

Here’s a shocking admission from Yahoo! Style: This article, and all its errors, was written by “Yahoo Style Editors.” Apparently it takes more than one editor to screw up this badly. In general first ladies doesn’t get capital-letter treatment (at least according to most authorities, including the Associated Press). And no authority would OK the use of an apostrophe in the plural houses. (But no article from Style would be complete without at least one apostrophe in a plural):

fl 1

One of those “Yahoo Style Editors” really ought to be able to spell the name of every U.S. president, so one of them should be able to spell every president’s wife’s name, too. Like Nancy Reagan:

fl 2

I kinda think that’s inexcusable. And I’m horrified that the writers think that Hillary Clinton was inaugurated in 1997. She never had her own inauguration. She did, however, attend her husband’s 1997 inauguration.

Those “editors” could use a little tutelage in the use of a spell-checker:

fl 3

Lordie, lordie. Doesn’t anyone in the group of “Yahoo Style Editors” know how to spell? Or use a dictionary? Or a spell-checker?

fl 4

And finally there’s just one more lie they have to tell. (It’s probably not a lie so much as an inability for the combined brains of “Yahoo Style Editors” to understand words of more than two syllables.) Mrs. Clinton did not wear an embellished gown to her husband’s second term ceremony. She wore one to her husband’s second-term Inaugural Ball.

Back to school for you!

Could the writer of this module on the Yahoo! front page be a college graduate? I’m not sure. I’d expect a college graduate to know that an apostrophe is required in “Parents college debt nightmare”:

fp college debt

I’d expect that a college graduate could read an article and summarize it accurately. And that’s when I realized that perhaps this writer is still in high school, struggling with understanding text written for a tenth grader. That’s how I’d explain the allegation that these parents owe a huge sum “nearly a decade after the graduation.” Since the parents have more than one daughter, I wanted to know whose graduation was a decade ago. So I read the article and learned that these folks borrowed the money a decade ago — not that their daughters graduated a decade ago.

To the writer, I’d say, stay in school and get that high school diploma. To readers of yahoo.com, I say don’t believe what you read.

Apple Pay gets an addition

Do the folks who write for yahoo.com just make up product names? Here’s a case of a new name for a new Apple product: Apple iPay.

fp ipay

Someone managed to get the name right; it’s Apple Pay. So why did the product get an addition? Maybe the writer thinks all Apple products should begin with a lowercase I.

I have two questions

After reading this on the Yahoo! front page, I have a couple of questions:

fp restoring control

How does one restore control to an ability? My other question: How the heck does a nonsensical sentence like that get published on one of the busiest webpages in the universe?

Not to knock your writing, but…

Not to knock Yahoo! Style, but I think the quality of its content would be greatly improved if it were written by people actually familiar with English:

knock against style

Maybe if they employed college graduates familiar with common idioms and with using Google to check the spelling of characters (like, say, Maleficent), the writing wouldn’t be so amateurish. And if their writers knew that one of five “women” is actually a one-year-old baby, another is a doll, and another is a Lego figure, the word choices might be also be a bit more accurate.

I guess I really was knocking Yahoo! Style.

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