You write the top, I’ll write the bottom

In today’s installment of “You Write the Top, I’ll Write the Bottom,” we witness the results of two people who write for yahoo.com and can’t figure out if it’s a children magazine or a children’s magazine:

fp children mag

You’re under arrest

The grammar police should make an arrest at the yahoo.com headquarters for this gaffe:

fp him being arrested

Did that really sound right to the writer? If so, then he or she needs to hang around people who speak proper English and start reading something other than Facebook timelines and Twitter posts.

The correct pronoun is the possessive his because being is a gerund, which is a verb functioning as a noun. The writer could have avoided this embarrassment by simply writing “by his arrest.” Easy, no?

You write the top, I’ll screw up the bottom

In this episode of “You Write the Top, I’ll Write the Bottom,” we see the results of two writers for the Yahoo! front page who can’t agree on the spelling of a rather important word to a headline:

fp eyeshadow

According to the American Heritage Dictionary, eye shadow is correct (although some dictionaries also allow eyeshadow). But that’s not all! There’s an apostrophe missing in pros: Depending on the number of pros involved, it should be either pro’s tips or pros’ tips.

One day’s worth of errors

This is just one error that showed up on Tuesday on Yahoo! Style:

7 days worth style

One day’s worth of writing errors would reveal a variety of goofs; seven days’ worth would be overwhelming.

One shopper, many bodies?

Can one person have more than one body? And can a department store survive with only one shopper? These are the questions that have plagued me since reading this on Yahoo! Style:

shoppers style

Back to school for you!

Could the writer of this module on the Yahoo! front page be a college graduate? I’m not sure. I’d expect a college graduate to know that an apostrophe is required in “Parents college debt nightmare”:

fp college debt

I’d expect that a college graduate could read an article and summarize it accurately. And that’s when I realized that perhaps this writer is still in high school, struggling with understanding text written for a tenth grader. That’s how I’d explain the allegation that these parents owe a huge sum “nearly a decade after the graduation.” Since the parents have more than one daughter, I wanted to know whose graduation was a decade ago. So I read the article and learned that these folks borrowed the money a decade ago — not that their daughters graduated a decade ago.

To the writer, I’d say, stay in school and get that high school diploma. To readers of yahoo.com, I say don’t believe what you read.

It takes one millisecond’s time

It takes just one millisecond’s time to spot the missing apostrophe on Yahoo! News:

six years time new

An apostrophe is required in what the Associated Press Stylebook calls a quasi possessive: 6 years’ time, one week’s pay, ten years’ experience.

Kelly Rowland expecting a hermaphrodite?

Yahoo! Celebrity reveals that Kelly Rowland is expecting a hermaphrodite:

baby genders omg

While many pregnant women know their baby’s gender, she’s the first I’ve heard of who knows her baby genders.

Sill, you can’t help noticing

Sometimes, when I read something on Yahoo! Celebrity, I can’t help wondering if the writer is familiar with basic English idioms, like this:

rent 1

Actually, the Kardashians have been renting a home; the owner of the home has been renting out the home.

There are some mistakes I can overlook. Still, I can’t help noticing the typos:

rent 2

and the missing apostrophe in what should be Kardashians’:

rent 3

and at least one word too many here:

rent 4

Can you overlook errors like these?

Keeping it at arm’s length

Even if the writer for Yahoo! Beauty had used an apostrophe in the idiom “arm’s length,” I think this would still be wrong:

arms length

The idiom “arm’s length” means “a distance that physical or social contact is discouraged” (American Heritage Dictionary). So what would it mean to keep something “within arm’s length”? I think the writer meant “within easy reach.”

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