He voiced all the characters?

If Richard Percy Jones voiced all the characters in “Pinocchio,” then the quotation marks on the Yahoo! front page are correct:

fp pin

However, I suspect he was the voice of one character, Pinocchio, and the name of a character shouldn’t be enclosed in quotes.

Arousing suspicion

I suspect that the writers and/or editors over at Yahoo! Shine haven’t been trained in the wonder that is punctuation. If they had been, they’d know enough not to put the question mark here:

paradise quest

The question mark belongs after the closing quotation mark because the entire sentence is a question.

I suspect the writer didn’t look up the spelling of Lil’ Kim; if she had, she’d know there’s an apostrophe missing here:

lil kim shine

So, when the writers aren’t dropping punctuation marks, they’re adding them where they don’t belong, like here:

post-partum shine

The word is postpartum, without a hyphen.

And my favorite mistake, arousing my suspicion that no one at Yahoo! cares about spelling, is this misspelling:

arrousing shine

You write the top, I’ll write the bottom

In yet another episode of “You Write the Top…” we uncover a bit of confusion and disagreement about punctuation:

fp no

Someone believes the word no needs quotation marks; someone doesn’t. And neither thought to consult the one.

Eat clean? No thanks

Yahoo! Shine asks “Eat clean?” But, what does it really mean to “eat clean”?

clean quest shine

It means that the writer didn’t know where to put the question mark. In the U.S., the comma and period go before the closing quotation mark. A question mark or exclamation mark go before the closing quotation mark only if they apply to the words within the quotation marks.

Put it where?

What kind of a question is that on the Yahoo! front page?

put a ring on it fp

Put a ring on it? That’s a question? Actually, no, it isn’t. The entire headline is the question and the question mark belongs after the ending quotation mark.

Bored with grammar

Apparently writers at Yahoo! Shine are bored with using correct English, correct spelling, and correct punctuation:

burts bees

If you think “are bored of ” sounds right to you, you should read what the American Heritage Dictionary says:

If an activity or experience starts to bore you, are you bored by it, bored of it, or bored with it? All three constructions are common in informal writing and speech, but they enjoy different degrees of acceptance. … In our 2012 survey, the sentences I’m getting bored with this lecture series and I’m getting bored by this lecture series were accepted by 93 percent and 88 percent of our Usage Panel, respectively. By contrast, only 24 percent of the Panelists found I’m getting bored of this lecture series at least somewhat acceptable.

In an article about Burt’s Bees, this writer can’t even spell the brand. This so-called professional also thinks it’s okie-dokie to use quotation marks after so-called. It’s not.

What’s it really called?

Gee, you’d think the people who write for the Yahoo! front page could keep their disagreements off the yahoo.com page. But, no, they can’t. They have to display them before millions of people:

fp everest jump

Can’t they decide when to capitalize jump? Can’t they agree on whether Everest jump needs quotation marks? No, they can’t.

What’s still going on at Yahoo?

Yesterday I did something I seldom do; I published a blog post with multiple boo-boos from the Yahoo! front page. Usually I just cover one, but the errors on yahoo.com were so numerous, that I lumped them all in a single post.

Did I just write “all”? That’s not quite accurate, because after that post went live, the hits misses just kept on comin’. Like this attempt at trying to spell Sprinkler:

fp sprinker

And this pathetic try at Steve Carell’s name:

fp steve carrell

This looks to be an attempt at saying “Johnny Manziel owes his appeal to” or “Johnny Manziel’s appeal is due to”:

fp appeal owes to

Oh, lordie. This so-called headline contains redundant quotation marks. Don’t use quotation marks if you’re using so-called because they mean the same thing:

fp so-called costco

I’m no chemist (in fact, chemistry was my weakest subject in college), but I know something about logic. Here’s the scoop: If everything in the world is made up of chemicals, you really don’t need to tell us that “not all are toxic” because it’s unlikely there would still be a human being alive if everything were toxic:

fp chemicals

Is it chicken or just chicken-like?

Are chicken-fried vegetables anything like “chicken”-fried veggies? I think that one has been fried in a fat that was also used to fry chicken and the other was fried in something that was used to fry faux chicken. According to yahoo.com, you’ll find recipes for both on Yahoo!:

fp chicken-fried

No, thanks. I’m allergic

Nuts? No, thanks.

Maybe you weren’t asking if I wanted some of that salty stuff. Maybe you were trying to ask an entirely different question. But, the truth is, the folks at yahoo.com were asking: Nuts?

fp nuts

Why can’t they remember that if the words inside the quotation marks form a question, then the question mark goes inside, too? It’s a common mistake at Yahoo!, and it just drives me nuts.

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