Too much or too little?

Are there too many characters or too few words in this teaser on the Yahoo! front page?

fp moras apost

Is this supposed to be “Floribeth Mora says” or ” Floribeth Mora’s manicurist says”?

What country are you from?

There’s been an unusually large number of errors on the Yahoo! front page lately. Because many of those errors involved U.S. pop culture, common American idioms, and American spellings, I thought that perhaps a foreign government had taken control of yahoo.com. After seeing this, I’m convinced that the writing on the Yahoo! front page is not done in the U.S.:

fp boston governor

For all you yahoo.com writers in Mumbai or Minsk or wherever you are: No American city has a governor.  Boston is an American city. Therefore, Boston does not have a governor. Deval Patrick is the governor of Massachusetts.

Ditch those colorful foods this Easter!

Forget about serving “colorful foods that will light up your table.” (Light up my table? Like what? Garlic bulbs?) Stick with the classics like ham and deviled eggs:

fp sub

That’s the advice on the Yahoo! front page.  Unless, of course, the writer meant substitute ham and deviled eggs with colorful foods.

Opening doors with long legs

What do you use to open a door? Hands? Long legs? That’s what the writer for the Yahoo! front page thinks humans might use:

fp long legs

Frankie Valli falls a little short

Frankie Valli is not a giant physically; he’s only about 5′ 5″. But the folks at the Yahoo! front page make him (OK, just his name) a little shorter:

fp franki valli

Guess what’s not a question

Why would anyone think that this headline on Yahoo! Shine is a question?

guess whos coming quest shine

That’s actually an imperative sentence: An imperative sentence gives an instruction, an order, a command, or a request. In this case, the writer is requesting that you guess who’s coming to the gala.

Who you callin’ loose?

Someone was asleep at the keyboard when this went live on Yahoo! Shine:

you loose shine

The word loose rhymes with noose, moose, and caboose. So there’s loose women with loose morals working for loose change. The word that starts with an L, but rhymes with news, muse, and coos is lose.

Downright embarrassing

As anyone who’s ever been duped by something they’ve read on Yahoo! Shine can attest, the site has some problems. There are problems with the accuracy of some articles. Like the claim that Shine had pictures of Prince George in Australia — days before he arrived there. And, of course, there are problems with grammar and spelling and word choice.

Not all mistakes are horrid, like this sentence with an extra word and the breakup of a perfectly fine word into two words:

praying 1

But some goofs are downright embarrassing:

praying 2

I’m assuming that the writer meant preying (which means victimizing). But co-counsil? Is that the bastard child of a council mating with a counsel?

What’s still going on at Yahoo?

Yesterday I did something I seldom do; I published a blog post with multiple boo-boos from the Yahoo! front page. Usually I just cover one, but the errors on yahoo.com were so numerous, that I lumped them all in a single post.

Did I just write “all”? That’s not quite accurate, because after that post went live, the hits misses just kept on comin’. Like this attempt at trying to spell Sprinkler:

fp sprinker

And this pathetic try at Steve Carell’s name:

fp steve carrell

This looks to be an attempt at saying “Johnny Manziel owes his appeal to” or “Johnny Manziel’s appeal is due to”:

fp appeal owes to

Oh, lordie. This so-called headline contains redundant quotation marks. Don’t use quotation marks if you’re using so-called because they mean the same thing:

fp so-called costco

I’m no chemist (in fact, chemistry was my weakest subject in college), but I know something about logic. Here’s the scoop: If everything in the world is made up of chemicals, you really don’t need to tell us that “not all are toxic” because it’s unlikely there would still be a human being alive if everything were toxic:

fp chemicals

What’s going on at Yahoo?

There’s something really weird going on at yahoo.com. The number of bone-headed mistakes on that page has exploded. Is it a new writing staff? A bunch of interns hired for the summer? Outsourcing to a non-English-speaking country? Here’s just some of the things spotted on today’s Yahoo! front page.

If the marathon you’re writing about is in Boston, it’s the Boston Marathon (with a big M). That’s not the only thing I’d quibble about, though. I can’t say I agree with the statement that “retrievers are used to distract” people. There are many, many documented benefits to petting a dog, including lowering blood pressure:

fp marathon

Here’s a use of chide that’s new to me: It’s used as a transitive verb (meaning it has a direct object, in this case decision), so it means “to reprimand or scold mildly.” I don’t think anyone was chiding the decision — the person who made the decision, maybe was chided.

fp chided

Ah, the old subject-verb disagreement. There can’t be any disagreement that the subject is tenor and the verb should be is. Also, there’s that dangling modifier at the beginning of the sentence, which appears to modify tenor (which makes no sense), though it likely should modify the writing on the boat:

fp tenor are

OK, here’s a mystery for you: What was Iran stockpiling? Government cheese? This doesn’t contain a grammatical or spelling error. This is what is known as an error of omission: It tells you nothing.

fp stockpile

I almost spit out my sugar-free, nonfat vanilla latte when I read this:

fp cafe

The name of that café is a mouthful, n’est-ce pas? The hilarity continues when you realize that the poor French-challenged writer has mashed up Café de Flore and Les Deux Magots.

If you’re reading something online right now (and I think you are), then according to Yahoo!, that is the reason you procrastinate. It is not what you do when you procrastinate, it is the cause of the procrastination. Good to know.

fp procrastinate

Here’s one you can disagree with, but according to the American Heritage Dictionary, the preferred spelling in the U.S. is disk:

fp disc

And we’re back to that old bugaboo — matching a subject (series) with its verb (hint: it shouldn’t be show):

fp series show

Finally, there’s another preferred spelling: light-years (with a hyphen):

fp light years

Whew! That’s all for now. And by that I mean, I’m going to go get two Advils and lie down.

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