Better to write nonsense than to write nothing at all

This is it. This is all the writer for Yahoo! Style had to say about an auction, and look at how many mistakes she managed to make saying it:

willie nelson hair style

Since the auction was from Waylon Jennings’ estate, don’t you think she could take 15 seconds and confirm his real name? No matter. Better to write the wrong name than take the time to find the right name. Then there’s the claim that this isn’t the first time hair went for record prices. Prices? Did Mr. Nelson’s hair sell for more than one price? Or is the writer just really careless with her words?

Of course, no article from Yahoo! Style is complete without at least one factual error. First she claims that $37,000 was a record price for hair, and then she tells us that Justin Bieber’s hair sold for over $41,000. I guess it’s better to make a ridiculous, obviously erroneous claim than to state the facts.

Ellen DeGeneres’ name isn’t a mangled as it could be and a animal could charitably called a typo. But the sum of these errors is clear: Here’s someone who writes without regard for accuracy.  Maybe it’s better to write badly and be paid than to not write at all?

It just goes from bad to more bad

This headline was my first indication that the article on Yahoo! Style was not going to go well:

ed pick 1

The new ’60s-inspired pieces you need now? I think they involve a correctly placed an apostrophe (which shouldn’t be used to form the plural) and a hyphen.

Things only got worse. It’s hard to imagine what went through the writer’s mind when she pounded out this:

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It’s pretty clear that makes and reminds should be make and remind (because their subject is surfboards) and that summer isn’t a proper noun. But what could be wrong with wool sweater? The answer lies in the handy caption for the sweater that the writer provided:

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WTF? How did the writer screw up that badly? It’s a freakin’ linen sweater, not a wool one!

This writer is just obsessed with wool sweaters, to the point of lying about the actual material of her recommendations:

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First, let’s look at the helpful information the writer supplied because the alleged black stripe is actually navy:

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And is it mohair? Of course not! It’s nylon and acrylic. The writer just likes to make up her own little facts.

Do you know how difficult it is to find the correct spelling of gray? Luckily you don’t have to. In the U.S., it gets an A; in other English-speaking countries, the preferred spelling is grey:

ed pick 55

Again the writer proves that she’s grammatically challenged, unable to identify a plural subject (shape and color) and match it to a verb (which should be are).

When not making up information about sweaters, the writer likes to be creative about pants:

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What could possible wrong with that? The pattern is called dogtooth and the pants aren’t cropped, even though the writer just can’t let go of the whole crop pants thing:

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Geez. This just keeps getting worse. There’s a missing hyphen in must-have, fall is capitalized erroneously, and this sentence makes no sense:

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I don’t know what this means nor what FW means:

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Think it can’t get worse? Think again:

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The handbag is not made from box leather; it’s a leather box bag.And it was seen from a lot of famous people.

I have to keep reminding myself that this article was written by a professional writer, someone who is actually paid real money to write this crap:

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That’s someone who doesn’t know the difference between its and it’s. Who doesn’t know to end a sentence with a period (a comma just won’t do) and stick a hyphen in cat-eye.

It started off with a mistake and just kept piling ‘em on. It went from bad to more bad and more bad.

Makeup makes man’s hair grow!

What a transformation! Can you believe that a man can use just makeup to change not only his facial features but also his hair length and color?!

just makeup head

That’s the claim from Yahoo! Style, and the editors have provided a handy picture to prove it:

just makeup style 2

The stupidest headline of the month

It’s only the first week of October, but I can safely say that Yahoo! Style is the holder of the award for the stupidest headline of the month:

sec of state

If Chelsea Clinton’s baby could be the next secretary of state, either she’ll be the youngest person to hold that position (let’s hope she’s out of diapers by then), or the position will be vacate for a long, long time — at least until the infant is an adult.

By the way, that baby in the photo with Ms. Clinton? That is not Chelsea Clinton’s baby. That might just be the stupidest picture of the month.

Getting the Values Voter Summit wrong

If you saw this on the Yahoo! front page, you might think these GOP politicians will be attending the Values Voters Summit:

fp vvs

But you would be wrong, just as the writer is wrong. It’s the Values Voter Summit. Where did the writer get the idea that it was Voters? Perhaps from Yahoo! News, which also got it wrong:

vvs news

Where do nymphs frolic?`

So, this writer for Yahoo! Style had a little problem with punctuation. I wouldn’t ordinarily mention it because it seems too nitpicky, even for me. But I can’t ignore it.  Just like I can’t ignore the claim that a designer has revisited a theme for a second time. I guess that means he’s visiting it three times: The first visit, the revisit, and the revisit for the second time. I wonder if at each visit to the theme nymphs frolicked in woodlawn:

woodlawn style

And was this where the woodlawn nymphs frolicked?

woodlawn

Or is it just possible that maybe perhaps it was woodland nymphs who did the frolicking?

Cuckoo coconut water advice

Anyone looking for advice on nutrition should steer clear of Yahoo! Health. Recommending a coconut water that supplies 70 calories in a 1-ounce serving (is that a thimbleful?) doesn’t seem like sound advice:

coconut water health

Most coconut waters have about 70 calories in a serving size that’a considerably bigger, by about 13 ounces.

Sometimes the bear gets you…

… and sometimes you get the bear claw. Cops and doughnuts go together like jelly and a bear claw, according to the culinary geniuses at Yahoo! News:

bear claw news

If you know anything about the pastry known as the bear claw, you know that it doesn’t contain jelly. So, I guess that means that cops and doughnuts are “about as intertwined” as apples and truck tires. Meaning, not at all.

I just have to say it

I just have to say it: This is horrible. Atrocious. An embarrassment to the writer, Yahoo! Style, and all of Yahoo!:

maggie

It’s amazing the number and severity of errors one writer can make in a single sentence. First let me warn anyone who might be tempted to click on the first link. Don’t bother. It doesn’t have an actual URL behind it; you’ll just get an error.

Then let’s just say that apostrophes (especially when they face the wrong direction) are no substitute for actual quotation marks, which is what I think Yahoo! uses to delineate titles of TV shows.

How lazy a writer do you have to be to neglect to look up the name of the dancer in a YouTube video? Her name is Maddie Ziegler.

If by “empty rooms” the writer means rooms containing furniture, pictures on the wall, and curtains at the windows, then yes, the rooms are empty.

If these jaw-dropping errors are what we can expect to see in the future on the new Yahoo! Style, then I’ll be hanging out somewhere else — at a site that employs real writers with some measure of integrity and pride in their work.

Shocking election news from Kansas

According to the ever-reliable yahoo.com, there will be no Democrats on ballots in Kansas. (OK, so the writer actually said “in Kan. ballots,” but I’m trying to be compassionate and understanding about the use of the incorrect preposition since many English-language learners have difficulty with prepositions.)

fp no dem

How in the heck did that happen?! Quite simple. The writer is wrong and possibly impaired by an illegal substance. As of today, some Kansas ballots will not have a Democratic candidate for Senate.

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