Writer always hasn’t had a way with words

Who would have suspected that hunky Jon Hamm has never, ever “had a way with the ladies,” as they say in 1940s films? Well, that’s what the writer for Yahoo! Celebrity alleges:

always hasnt had omg

It’s funny, if you were to change the order of words, Mr. Hamm comes off looking like a Don Juan: The “Mad Men” star apparently hasn’t always had a way with the ladies. I think that sounds a lot more likely.

Was it held in the basement?

Holding a panel discussion in the foundation of the George Bush Presidential Library sounds a little dark and dreary to me. But that’s where it’s happening, if you believe what you read on the Yahoo! front page:

fp foundation

Of course, I know you’re all skeptical of what you read on yahoo.com. As well you should be. The George Bush Presidential Library Foundation is a nonprofit organization supporting the George Bush Presidential Library and Museum. So, it’s kinda hard to imagine how you could hold an event at a foundation, unless you mean the cellar of a building.

How could DeSean Jackson do that?

Is DeSean Jackson fighting his team colors? According to yahoo.com (that trusted source of up-to-the-minute news), Mr. Jackson took his team colors and changed them into a foe:

fp change colors

I could understand if he changed his team colors to the colors of a “bitter in-division foe.” Or if he changed his team colors to those of a “bitter in-division foe.” But that’s not what Yahoo! is telling us. And Yahoo! is never wrong.

I’m pretty sure the country is older than that

If you’re a reader who’s not familiar with American history, this phrase on Yahoo! Celebrity might not strike you as a tad off:

us 60th omg

But I suspect that even a yurt-dwelling Turkmen would question whether the U.S. is only 60 years old. In fact, it was the Humane Society of the United States that had the 60th anniversary event.

Here’s a hint to editors and proofreaders: It’s not enough to check for spelling and punctuation errors. You might want to make sure that every sentence actually makes sense.

One bite, 20 dead?

How can a single bite from a snake kill 20 people? Is the bite contagious? No. It fact, it’s not the bite, but the venom that is strong enough to kill 20 victims. Don’t believe everything (or anything) you read on yahoo.com:

fp bite

What else could go wrong?

You’d think from reading this headline/caption on Yahoo! Shine that you could “steal” a gown today, March 20, 2014, and that gown would be the one that Kristen Bell wore on the red carpet:

lauren frankfort

Of course, stealing is wrong and I believe the writer was speaking figuratively. But I just couldn’t understand the rest of that sentence. Who was Lauren Frankfort? Was she the designer of the soon-to-be purloined gown? Being a lover of wedding gowns, I had to get some answers. So, I bravely clicked the caption.

The truth is, that is not a picture of Kristen Bell’s “wedding-worthy gown.” And said gown is not going to be available today, March 20. That’s the date the article was published on Shine. And Lauren Frankfort? Not the designer, but the writer of the article. Is there anything with any truthiness in that caption and picture? Yes. Kristen Bell’s name is spelled correctly.

Jumping on the wagon

Have the folks in charge of the Yahoo! front page hopped on the offshoring bandwagon and outsourced writing to a non-English-speaking country? That’s the impression you get when you read this on yahoo.com:

fp stroller

The “stroller” in question is that red object on the left that looks strangely like a wagon. And the “baby” looks to be ready for kindergarten. Maybe in Mumbai or Nairobi those would be the correct terms. In the U.S.? Not so much.

A news source you can trust?

How many typos, misspellings, and wrong word choices does it take before you question the credibility of a news article? If the article is written by a Yahoo! News staffer, I start with an attitude of skepticism, which is buttressed by the errors that are sure to be there.

I can count on there being at least one homophonic error. In this article, the writer claims an ice sculpture was discretely wheeled into a hotel suite:

cpac 1

Unless that sculpture was delivered in bits of ice cubes, it was brought in discreetly, so as not to attract attention.

A typo in a photo caption isn’t the worst thing you’ll find in the article:

cpac 2

But a second homophonic error just might be:

cpac 3

Perhaps it’s a rite of passage at Yahoo! News: You can’t get a byline until you’ve made at least three boneheaded mistakes in a single article.

Here’s a makeshift spelling of makeshift:

cpac 4

There’s nothing wrong with this paragraph except for the arbitrarily capitalized former and the spelling of Dinesh D’Souza and Cathy McMorris Rodgers:

cpac 5

Two of those mistakes would get you sent to the woodshed in a legitimate news organization. But wait! There’s more! Here, the writer claims there was a big band consisting of 16 pieces:

cpac 7

and yet in the photo caption, he’s added a musician:

cpac 6

Perhaps the writer was enjoying the contents of the kegerator when he wrote this:

cpac 8

and then forgot that if you use a dollar sign, you shouldn’t also use the word bucks (because that would be “20 dollars bucks”):

cpac 9

So, I’m not trustin’ too much (if anything) I read from this author. I guess for some, getting an article published is all that matters:

cpac 10

Fun with photo captions

I’m thinking of starting a regular feature on Terribly Write. I’ll call it “Fun With Photo Captions” and display my favorite recent photo-and-caption combo from Yahoo!.

I’d probably start with a photo from Yahoo! Shine, like this one from the movie “Pretty in Pink”:

lapel

And the brilliant caption that accompanies the photo:

lapel 2

Don’t you just love it when a writer is describing fashion but can’t tell a scarf from a lace hankie or a lapel from a pocket?

Missing some steps?

The home page of Yahoo! Shine is like a table of contents to all the great, well-written, entertaining, and enlightening articles you’ll find in the rest of the site. If you’re interested in making your cat an Internet superstar, for example, it promises you the five steps to a viral feline video:

cat star 1

Anxious to learn about those five steps (which I’ll get started on as soon as I adopt a cat from the local shelter), I clicked on the picture. Bah! I’ve been deceived yet again by writers who don’t recognize that 8 is different from 5:

cat star 2

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