Isn’t that the only way to score?

You don’t have to be a baseball aficionado to know that the only way to score a run is in an inning. Because runs scored during the seventh-inning stretch just don’t count. Thanks to Captain Obvious at the Yahoo! front page for this news:

fp in the inning

It might have been a tad more informative if the writer had deigned to tell us which inning the run was scored.

I am not a table

Are the folks at Yahoo! DIY asking me what my story is?

tells a story diy

I ask because it seems that every table tells a story. But I am not a table. So why do they want to know my story? Maybe they mean “What’s your table’s story?” Is that so difficult to write? Apparently it is for some people.

Don’t miss missed opportunities!

From Yahoo! Style we get advice that we’re all sure to follow:

missed opp style

I have nothing to add to that bit of wisdom.

This writing could repel readers

Using the wrong word could repel your readers. It’s a lesson that’s lost on the writer at Yahoo! Style:

repelling style

Reading something like that makes me want to climb the walls. And then rappel down.

That would be difficult

It would be difficult to be the lowest rung on any totem pole, despite what you might read on Yahoo! Travel:

rung on totem pole travel

A totem pole does not have rungs. Ladders have rungs.

Literally, an embarrassment

Why do writers use words that they don’t understand and wind up just embarrassing themselves? Here, the writer for Yahoo! Style wants us to believe that athletic women actually, physically run to the top of the business world:

literally style 1

Since “the top of the business world” is a figure of speech, those women could not possibly literally run there. But they could figuratively run there. (Here’s a hint: Don’t use literally. Ever. Even if you don’t misuse it, your readers will think you did.)

This writer is so sure of her elementary school vocabulary that she’s telling you what she wrote is “not a metaphor”:

literally style 2

Well, honey, it is a metaphor. Unless the businesswomen kicked the CEO in the family jewels and commandeered his office, you are writing metaphorically.

Edited and still bad

In a never-ending search to find an article on Yahoo! DIY that doesn’t contain multiple errors, I came across this 2-sentence paragraph:

never search dyi

It’s hard to imagine that this was written by someone who advanced beyond fourth grade. It’s written by someone described as “Cinematographer/Editor.” After reading this, I can only presume the editing is of videos — and not text.

There’s just so much wrong in so little space: There’s the “never search,” which I take to mean “never-ending search.” There’s the mysterious “to do pumpkins a new way,” which sounds particularly lewd. There’s the claim that you need a sand bag, which you don’t; you’ll just fill a trash bag with sand. You gotta wonder about a writer who uses wonder instead of wander. And who the heck calls Halloween “the Halloween Eve.” And don’t get me started on the five periods, which might be an attempt at ellipsis (which is three periods).

So, I just checked that article and it looks like someone attempted to edit that mess. Unfortunately, the editor isn’t much better than the writer when it comes to writing:

never search diy 2

Now it looks like there’s just one word missing in what should be “pumpkins in a new way,” though the sand bag is still there. But what’s really surprising is that the editor doesn’t know any more about Halloween than the writer. It’s also known as All Hallows’ Eve.

The worst case of the hick-ups

It seems that the writers for Yahoo! Style have no regard for spelling. Case in point: these ridiculous errors that include a misspelling of hiccups and arbitrary (and totally incorrect) hyphens.

hick-ups style

French fried

What is it about words derived from French that trips up the writers at Yahoo!? When they’re not confusing a fiancé with a fiancée, they’re  misspelling trompe l’oeil or coup d’état or pâté de foie gras. At least this writer for Yahoo! Food spelled the word correctly. It’s just the wrong word:

tete-a-tete food

A tête-à-tête is a private conversation between two people, usually of an intimate nature. It’s not public. It’s not in writing. It’s not right in this context.

My advice to Yahoo!’s writers and editors: If the word contains funny little marks above a vowel, don’t use it. You will get it wrong.

A trash bag might be better than a sweater

Instead of tying a sweater around the waste, I’d suggest putting the waste in a Hefty trash bag. It’s sturdier and easier to dispose of:

waste style

Here’s Ms. Jenner with her waste-enshrouding sweater, courtesy of Yahoo! Style:

waste

I’m no fashion expert — unlike the writers for Style — but it looks like Ms. Jenner’s sweater is wrapped around an area of her body just below her waist. But I’m no fashion expert.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 778 other followers

%d bloggers like this: