Were they straddling state lines?

Did the victims of those deadly caramel apples have their left foot in one state and their right foot in another state? Is that how it was possible to have five deaths in ten states, as reported by Yahoo! Health?

5 deaths

And you thought Santa was known for toys…

Silly me. I thought Santa Claus was famous for delivering toys to good little girls and boys. But Yahoo! Style has the real lowdown on that jolly fellow:

famous for leather diy

He’s known for his leather jackets and black basics. Hey, he sounds just like designer Rick Owens!

What was he tried for the first time?

An art teacher from Ohio took time after his retrial (for an undisclosed crime) to help decorate the White House for Christmas:

retried diy

When I see statements like that on Yahoo! DIY, I wonder if the site’s editors have all retired.

Where does Beyoncé get her wisdom?

She imports it! Or at least that’s what a writer for Yahoo! Style says:

imports style

I’d like to impart a little wisdom of my own, for the benefit (I hope) of the writer: Don’t trust a spell-checker to do all of your proofreading for you. A word may be spelled correctly, but a spell-checker can’t tell you if it’s the correct word to use.

Wondering about wanderlust

Those wacky editors over at Yahoo! Style are at it again with their crazy-ass vocabulary and their grammatical blunders:

wanderlust style

In their world, wanderlust isn’t an obsession or impulse to travel. It’s a synonym for wanderers or travelers (which, of course, it isn’t to the rest of us). Maybe. That’s the only explanation I can offer to the use of the pronoun their. It needs an antecedent (the thing it refers to) and it looks like the reader has to supply it, since the writer didn’t.

Nicole Kidman: Winning by a nose

It wasn’t makeup that won an Oscar for Nicole Kidman. According to Yahoo! Style it was her prosthetic nose that earned her an Academy Award.

nose style

Oh, dopey me. I thought it was her acting.

Where did you get your kids?

Me? I had my kids the old-fashioned way. Pregnancy, hospital, labor, birth, then head home. But for those who don’t want to go through that lengthy process or the ordeal of adoption or surrogacy, there’s another alternative: Store-bought kids! Yes, you, too, can buy a child, according to the genius writer at Yahoo! DIY:

store bought kids diy

Headaches: They’re all in your skin

Oy! Reading this sentence on the Yahoo! front page has given me a headache:

fp more than

I’m thinking really, really hard, trying to figure out what “little needles can solve a lot more of skin ailments” means. More than what? Noxema? Botox? A whack in the face with a bag of nickels? And when did a headache get reclassified as a “skin ailment”? This is giving me a migraine. I think I need to go see my acupuncturist.

Playing fast and loose with language

If you play fast and loose with English, you’re bound to come up with laughable results. Just ask the writer for Yahoo! Style who’s the new loser:

loser style 1

Armani is known for his looser clothes, which the writer alleges are minimal, which probably means they hardly cover all your bits and bobs:

loser style 2

I always thought his clothes were minimalistic, but I was wrong. But I wasn’t as wrong as the writer whose spelling ability is a real liability when it comes to the movie Inglourious Basterds.

It’s called a day

There’s at least one editor at Yahoo! Style who is not a candidate for the Carl Sagan Memorial Award for advancements in astronomy. I don’t think she’s even qualified to teach science to first-graders:

turned on axis style

Has the world turned on its axis, she asks. Yes, yes it has. It does it every day.

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