Shave or a haircut? What’s your favorite?

All you barbers out there, here’s a poll for you: Which service do you prefer to give a customer? A shave or a haircut. Let me know in the comments. While I’m waiting for the responses to flood in, I think I’ll amuse myself with this homophonic horror from Yahoo! DIY:

barber poll diy

This is what the writer meant: It’s a barber pole:

barber pole

It’s a sack of …

Oh, never mind. I was going to use a vulgar term to describe this article on Yahoo! DIY. It’s a sack of incorrect words. It’s also the kind of arrogant writing I hate. Arrogant because the writer is steadfast in her belief that her spelling of common words is correct, while the rest of the English-speaking world are ignorant losers.

OK, that’s the end of my rant. Here’s what the writer thinks is the correct use of sac, the correct capitalization of ribbon, and an acceptable shortening of scissors:

sac 1

A sac is “a pouch or pouchlike structure in a plant or an animal, sometimes filled with fluid.” But this writer is just not going to let up: 

sac 2

You really meant firery, didn’t you?

I was willing to call it a typo. Obviously the writer for Yahoo! DIY knew how to spell fiery. She was just a little clumsy when typing out the headline:

firery diy

Then I noticed that she didn’t know that the thing over a fireplace was a mantel. Then I noticed a repeated firery. This time it had to be intentional. She really thinks that’s a word! Just like she really thinks that an ellipsis is made up of six periods, and not the customary three.

Whether you’re a writing pro…

… or you’re an amateur blogger, you don’t want to look like this grammatically impaired writer for Yahoo! DIY:

your a diy pro

Supporting Taylor Swift’s midriff

Does it take the magic of smoke and mirrors during Taylor Swift’s performances to hold up her midriff? Just wondering what the writer for Yahoo! Style was watching when the rest of the world was watching Ms. Swift’s midriff-baring costumes:

midriff-bearing style

What are the odds?

What are the odds that a professional writer would use its and mean it’s and use it’s and mean its? If that writer works for Yahoo! DIY, pretty good:

its w wo apos diy

You must be yoking!

I’ve only seen this mistake once before, and of course it was on Yahoo!. This time it appears on Yahoo! DIY:

yolk diy

For the Yahoo! writers and editors, I’ll explain. This is a yolk:

yolk sweater

This is the yoke of a sweater:

yoke sweater

If you can’t be right, at least be consistent

That seems to be the motto of the writer for Yahoo! DIY who clings to the mistaken notion that a hangar is something you hang in your closet:

hangars diy

It is not. A hangar is something a plane hangs out in. But at least this gal is consistent:

hangars diy 2

… and maybe a bit stubborn. Here it is one more time:

hangars diy 3

The writer probably doesn’t think that spelling matters nowadays. Judging from the comments left for the article, I’d say she was wrong:

“For those who write these articles, PLEASE, check your spelling and verbiage.”

“Hanger – for clothes. Hangar – for airplanes”

“All the misused ‘hangars’ is very distracting. We’re not talking about organizing an airport hangar, we’re trying to get ideas on how to better organize our own closets. The word is h-a-n-g-e-r. with an ‘e’. Just for future reference, so those weird people like me who can’t get past incorrect spelling can focus on the content of the article instead of itching to make it right.”

Getting your nails done, one at a time

Men who want to get their nails done individually, and not in a lump, should head on over to the salons mentioned on Yahoo! Style:

discretely style

These salons do nails discretely, as separate and distinct parts. I’ll bet they also perform their services discreetly, so as not to attract unwanted attention.

It’s not a bum rap

Yahoo! Style writers will soon have a reputation for being the worst professional writers on the Net. And it’s not a bum rap. It’s well deserved:

bum wrap diy

This is a bum wrap:

bum wrap 2

An undeserved negative reputation is a bum rap. That’s something entirely different.

Also entirely different are hit the town (which means to party, usually implying some bar-hopping) and hit town (which means to arrive).

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