Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, is a popular subject in magazines, newspapers, TV, and the Internet. Millions of people around the world read about her every day, but few realize that the duchess has a physical abnormality. Now the good folks at Yahoo! Shine are letting the world in on the duchess’s little secret:
I was shocked to learn that the duchess’s ankles are actually located in the general vicinity of what would be knees for the rest of the world’s population.
The red coat (notice that red isn’t a proper noun here?) that the duchess is wearing looks like it’s knee-length to me. Could it be that the writer doesn’t know her knees from her ankles? And if the coat is actually fastened with three poppies, they must be under the placket, because I can’t see them. What I do see are three poppies fastened to the coat.
Of course, we shouldn’t expect a writer who doesn’t know when something is fastened to a coat from something that fastens a coat to know the niceties of English, like how to form the plural of a number. Most folks know that it doesn’t include an apostrophe:
There are some words missing here, which shouldn’t be surprising:
Does the duchess have a tiny collection of purses or a collection of tiny purses? If it’s the latter, the writer could have helped us out with a hyphen: her tiny-purse collection.
I can’t imagine how the duchess was spotted donning sheer stockings. Were there paparazzi hanging around her hotel suite, peering in a window as the poor woman was pulling them up over her ankles? A more likely scenario: This writer, whose vocabulary is a bit wobbly, thinks that donning means “wearing.” It does not. It is the act of putting on clothing. It refers to what you’re doing as you get dressed, not what you’re wearing after you get dressed.
Just to prove that Yahoo! writers can misspell names in more than one medium, the article ends with this video, which includes the misspelling of LK Bennett in its title:
I didn’t watch the video. Maybe it shows Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, donning a red coat, which comes down to the tops of her shoes, and which she then fastens with buttons shaped like poppies. If you watch it, let me know.