And then I wrote… And then I wrote…

The is from the from the Yahoo! front page:

fp from the from the

Did I mention October 2010?

Yahoo! Celebrity used to be called omg!, but now we know that it’s a site about celebrities, not about exclamations by tweens. So, you gotta expect you’ll get expert info about celebrities.

Except that you won’t. The writers still can’t spell celeb names:

cates 1

The couple’s friend is actually Challen Cates.

They also seem to be suffering from Alzheimer’s. They can’t remember that they already told us about October 2010. And they’re not too swift when it comes to basic arithmetic; July 2012 isn’t two years after October 2010:

cates 2

And did I mention October 2010?

I can think of something else that should be cut

Yeah, well, so Ben Stiller cut his daughter from his movie. I can think of something on the Yahoo! front page that should be cut:

fp his his

How do you get a job like that?

Imagine having a job where you can make mistakes in front of millions of people and you still collect a paycheck. If you’re a writer looking for a gig where spelling, grammar, and common sense are not required, you could work for Yahoo! Shine.

Really, could you be any worse than the writer who came up with this bit of hooey?

kard 1

I don’t know what a couple could do “under” a 22-year marriage. They certainly couldn’t sign a prenuptial agreement under a marriage or even during a marriage. A prenup has to be signed before a marriage because that’s what prenuptial means. But you knew that. Maybe you’re overqualified for Shine.

You probably also know that you don’t form the plural of Jenner with an apostrophe, even if it’s followed by an S. And you likely know that there’s no abbreviation a.ka. because that would make NO sense. When you want to abbreviate “also known as” you use aka or AKA or a.k.a. You don’t make up the spelling of celebrity names; you look them up in that new and whacky online resource known as the Web. So, you’d know how to spell Robin Givens. And you wouldn’t bother with the redundant use of a dollar sign and the word dollars:

kard 2

You know that people are wealthy and agreements are not. Agreements are lucrative:

kard 3

You wouldn’t make up a name like “the K-Dash line”; you’d go to the QVC site to see that it’s K-DASH by Kardashian. And you’d be aware that the preferred spelling in the U.S. is jewelry:

kard 4

And since you’re sensitive to the placement of punctuation, you’d put the apostrophe after daughters (because you’re also sensitive to the fact that Ms. Jenner has more than one daughter). You also like to match a verb (like, say, maybe factors) to its subject (oh, maybe self-promotion):

kard 5

If you pay attention to your spell-checker when it indicates that becaue isn’t a word, you may just be overqualified for Yahoo!:

kard 6

Reread what you’ve written. Reread what you’ve written

Here are a couple of lessons about writing, illustrated by Yahoo! News. Lesson one: Spell-check your pearls before publishing them. You might find, for instance, that al is not a word:

park 1

The word, derived from Italian for “in the fresh (air),” is alfresco.

Reread the entire article or blog post from start to finish. You might discover a bit of repetition.

park 2

Reread the entire article or blog post from start to finish. You might discover a bit of repetition.

park 3

A Penney for your thoughts

The writer for Yahoo! News‘ “The Sideshow” is pretty free with freeway in this redundant use of the word:

hit 1

He’s also pretty free with the spelling of the article’s subject. It’s an article about JC Penney, not about the copper coin:

hit 2

Proving that he doesn’t need to do any fact-checking, he even misspells the retail giant’s URL:

hit 3

If a tea kettle is formerly known as “Bells and Whistles,” what is it called now? And does it have a new, formal name?

hit 4

Of course, most people aren’t taking the writer’s work too seriously. They know that he’s somewhat of a hack whose writing would benefit from the watchful eye of a competent editor. I’m thinking, maybe an editor who knows that a series doesn’t involve a single commentary, but multiple commentaries:

hit 5

I suppose if the writer doesn’t care about spelling and word usage, he also doesn’t care too much about punctuation. Perhaps he feels that a period between sentences is optional:

hit 6

Get it? Get it?

How many ways can you say the same thing? The writer for the Yahoo! News’ “The Sideshow” may be trying to answer that question when he tells us that penguins have wings and wing-like flippers and they are swimmers and aquatic and they are flightless and they don’t take to the skies:

pens 1

And he’s so fond of Mr. Speakman’s words that he repeats them for your benefit:

pens 2

Perhaps if the writer had read what he wrote, he’d notice the repetition. Perhaps if the writer had read what he wrote, he’d notice the repetition.

 

Written by a so-called professional?

Even so-called professional writers make grammatical, punctuation, and spelling mistakes — especially if they work for Yahoo!. Take this example from Yahoo! News‘ “The Sideshow,” where the writer believes that quotation marks belong after the expression “so-called”:

ped 1

They don’t. According to the American Heritage Dictionary, “Quotation marks are not used to set off descriptions that follow expressions such as so-called and self-styled, which themselves relieve the writer of responsibility for the attribution: his so-called foolproof method (not ‘foolproof method’).

That’s a common mistake. On Yahoo!, there are a lot of common mistakes, like failing to match a pronoun with its antecedent (the word it refers to). And failing to hyphenate modern-day when it’s used as an adjective, misspelling Flintstones, and best of all using peddles instead of pedals:

ped 2

This is more akin to a careless error:

ped 3

And any decent spell-checker would have flagged Minnealpolis as a misspelling:

ped 4

But for Yahoo!’s so-called journalists, spell-checking is optional. Heck, it’s not just optional, it’s nonexistent.

Just to be sure we understand that Jeff Stone is a Republican state representative, the writer tells us in two slightly different ways, each containing its own errors:

ped 5

If you think I’m the only person who is appalled by this professional writer’s ignorance, you’d be wrong. Here’s one comment left by a reader:

“using peddles underneath their seats”
“PEDDLES”???? Jeezuz Joe Bob. My 6-year-old can write better than this. Apparently they’re trying to solve the unemployment problem by giving illiterate idiots jobs writing “news” articles. Sheesh.

Which is worse?

Which is worse? Dropping a word:

fp try improve

or adding a redundant one?

fp baby

Just ask the readers of the Yahoo! front page, the most visited page on the Internet.

And then I wrote and and

OMG! Could this be any more obvious?

and and omg

Where was the proofreader before this was published? Oh, yeah, Yahoo! omg! doesn’t have proofreaders.

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