Gawd. Is this what happens when you outsource writing? That’s the only explanation I can think of for this on the Yahoo! front page:
If two people have similarities. they share physical traits or characteristics. They don’t share similarities. And under no circumstance does someone share similarities to someone else. The actor shares some physical traits with the beloved character.
You’d think that Olympic athletes would be in top form, capable of walking up a few flights of stairs. But nooooo. According to the news on the Yahoo! front page, some Australian athletes are fuming about being asked to walk up:
I know I can be mean when I poke fun at writers and when I make fun of their inability to master the most basic of English expressions. I am a mean girl. But I believe that anyone who writes for the Yahoo! front page shouldn’t still be in an English As a Second Language class:
Plunging into the unknown that is the English language, the writer for the Yahoo! front page falls flat on his or her face:
A plunge is “the act of plunging or a place, such as a pool, to plunge.” It is not the same as a cliff. Which is what this writer fell off of.
Some people just shouldn’t try to be clever when they’re writing. You don’t need to read beyond the first paragraph of this article from Yahoo! Shine to see that the writer is one of those people. It will twist your ventricles into a vice:
I’m going to attempt a simultaneous translation of that little expression: By “ventricles” the writer means “heart.” By “vice” the writer means “smoking, gambling, or other unsavory activity.” So, the dude in question will twist your heart until you start smoking or playing the ponies. Makes sense. (The misspelling in what should be “50 Shades of Grey” is hardly worth mentioning after that.)
Those of you still reading, undeterred by that gem, will uncover a missing word here:
and (surprise!) a missing word there:
If you’re foolish enough to continue reading, you may want to chew on this for a while:
Trudging on, you’ll find a missing comma, another missing word, a missing space, and one too many periods. (Only the one before the closing parenthesis is correct):
Finally, if you’re dotty enough to read the photo caption, you’ll see that the writer can’t tell a plural from a singular noun:
I think I’ll go take an aspirin after that. My ventricles feel like they’ve been clamped in a vise and I feel a little cardiac event coming on.
Some professional writers get paid even when they put little or no effort in the accuracy and quality of their writing. Those writers usually work for Yahoo!. And often, they write for Yahoo! Shine and produce articles like this.
What object would make a 6-foot trail behind a woman? Oh, maybe a 6-foot train:
Is Frieda Pinto related to Freida Pinto? That misspelling can’t distract me from the writer’s inability to use the correct word. The wrong word (finding instead of find) certainly detracts from the article:
I would be belittling the writer’s ability if I said she is one of the sloppiest scribes on the Web.
She definitely has a problem including indefinite articles (which would be a and an):
If you thought the writer just made a typo when she wrote about that 6-foot trail, think again. I wonder if it was a man arranging Eva Longoria’s backside. Lucky guy:
Hey, writer, try using a comma once in a while:
Hey, writer, try using a dictionary, too. You might find out how to spell cat’s-eye, flattop, and Martian. Consult a real editor and you might find out there’s no apostrophe in 1960s.
Here’s the final proof that this writer isn’t even trying. She probably misheard this actress’s name on some cheesy celeb-gossip TV show. So, she thinks this is Marion Cotillard’s real name:
It’s a little-known fact, but typos destroy the credibility of a website. Grammatical errors don’t help, either.
Right about now, Yahoo! Shine doesn’t have much credibility with me.
This looks a little different from what is grammatically correct:
Of course, it appears on the Yahoo! front page.
It looks like there’s some serious overlap of the 2011 Cannes Film Festival and this year’s festival, which starts May 16, 2012. Last year’s festival is still going on, according to Yahoo! Movies:
I’m being picky here when I note that “along with” and “also” are a bit redundant. But I’m pretty sure the whole “for is preposterous” contains some kind of error. And maybe the date is wrong, too. Or maybe Yahoo! is recycling last year’s article. Or maybe the 2011 festival is a yearlong event. Nah.
If you’re a regular reader of Yahoo! Shine, you know what to expect — mistakes, and lots of them. You know that writers often drop words, especially little ones:
You know that the writers often misspell names, like Allison Benedikt. (If you can’t look at the name and reproduce on a keyboard, try copy and paste. It really is that easy.) You also expect punctuation errors. (If there is a complete sentence within parentheses and it’s not embedded in another sentence, put the period in there, too.)
In this article about the book “What to Expect When You’re Expecting,” the writer shortens the title to “What to Expect.” But, it should get some capital letters and quotation marks; otherwise, it just looks like a confusing mess. Another expected missing word (the expression is “weighing in on”) and a misspelling (it’s copycats):
And depending on whom you ask, who is the wrong word. (If you ask a Shine writer, they probably think it’s OK.)
One misspelled name is never enough for Shine staffers. Vicki Iodine sounds like a healer. Or a typo. Her name is Vicki Iovine.
What to expect when you’re reading Shine: Errors. And lots of them.
