You write the top, I’ll write the bottom

In this episode of the continuing saga of “You Write the Top, I’ll Write the Bottom,” there’s a lack of agreement on the treatment of a popular brunchtime beverage:

fp bloody mary

If your authority on capitalization and spelling is the American Heritage Dictionary, then the preferred spelling is bloody mary, although Bloody Mary is also acceptable. Just not simultaneously.

Like tatting or whittling?

When you think of extremely old crafts, what comes to mind? Crocheting? Basket weaving? Carving duck decoys? The writer for the Yahoo! front page wants you to forget the real meaning of crafts (which is “items made by craftspeople”) and conjure up aircraft:

fp crafts

Yes, the people who think the projection at the top of a building is a spiral, who don’t know a boon from a boom, and who think patent and trademark are synonyms want you to interpret crafts to mean some sort of vehicle. (It’s interesting to note that according to the American Heritage Dictionary, when you mean ” a boat, ship, aircraft, or spacecraft,” then the plural of craft is craft.)

It’s Opposites Weekend at Yahoo!

What the heck is going on at yahoo.com? Are we the victims of some prank, a case of Opposites Weekend? Yesterday I noticed that yahoo.com lied about Daniel Radcliffe being the only star in a disguise at Comic-Con. Now there’s this headline:

fp godzilla quot

First let’s dispense with the issue of the quotation marks. Unless Godzilla refers to the movie (and it doesn’t), there shouldn’t be quotes around it. The names of characters don’t get that sort of treatment. (Hmmm. Unless that’s not really his name…) Then the writer alleges that Godzilla will be fighting new foes. Baloney!

Here’s the headline from the article, replete with the incorrect quotation marks. Notice the words Old Foes?

fp godzilla quot 2

Is Yahoo! just messin’ with us? Or are the writers there really that incompetent?

Dmitri Young still the third heaviest

There’s just a minor problem on the Yahoo! front page:

fp mlb

The obvious gaffe involves some missing capital letters: Major League Baseball is a trademark of Major League Baseball, Properties, Inc. Less obvious? Dmitri Young wasn’t just the third heaviest player in the years he played; he was the third heaviest player in MLB history.

How one little word can make you look dumb

OK, how would you know if Daniel Radcliffe was the only star “to go incognito”? If someone is incognito, how can you tell they are a celebrity or not? It makes no sense. But here it is on the Yahoo! front page:

fp incognito

That allegation makes no sense because the writer left out one teensy word: not. Mr. Radcliffe was not the only star in a costume. How do I know? Because I can read. And the headline for the accompanying article is:

dan rad movies

Taken to the next misstep

This headline on the Yahoo! front page takes idiotic idioms to the next level:

fp next step

I suppose if you’re just learning English, you might not know common expressions like “take it to the next level” or “take the next step.” If that’s the case, I suggest you have someone familiar with common idioms edit your writing before you publish it.

Unusually rare occurrence

Sadly, misspellings are not an unusually rare occurrence on the Yahoo! front page:

fp occurence

Just kidding

Everything from the headlines to the teasers to the links has been proofread on yahoo.com:

fp have

Just kidding. Clearly that sentence, with its mismatched subject and verb, escaped the eyes of the proofreaders and editors.

Where the freakiest are the biggest

Where do the folks who write for yahoo.com get their information? I think they just make it up. Maybe the writer thought that the article “Be Careful Where You Step: the Freakiest Sinkholes Around the World” would entice more readers if they thought it was about the world’s biggest sinkholes:

fp sinkholes

It’s not. In fact, the world’s biggest sinkhole isn’t even included in the article. But, as long as this headline attracts clicks, who cares if it’s accurate?

Too young to remember Joanie and Chachi?

Is the writer for yahoo.com too young to remember Joanie and Chachi from “Happy Days” and its spinoff “Joanie Loves Chachi”?

fp jonie

Does that explain the writer’s inability to spell Joanie? Or is there another reason?

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