Do you spell-check everything?

Do you spell-check everything you write? If so, you’re doing better than the editors at Yahoo! Shine, who don’t bother checking photo captions:

My bologna has a first name

Anyone who lived in the States in the ’70s and owned a television is familiar with this ditty:

My bologna has a first name, it’s O-S-C-A-R.
My bologna has a second name, it’s M-A-Y-E-R.
Oh I love to eat it every day. If you ask me why I’ll say,
‘Cause Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A.

So, I’m guessin’ that the writer for Yahoo! Shine grew up in Somalia or Djibouti or Mumbai or some place where they’re unlikely to eat Oscar Mayer meats or see the Wienermobile:

When right is wrong

See that guy on the left in this picture from Yahoo! Shine? That’s Gordon Ramsay.

See the photo caption under the picture? That’s wrong.

A 5-year-old would know better

Even a 5-year-old would know that there’s a hyphen missing from this caption on Yahoo! Shine:

Your mother would be so proud

So, you finally landed a job writing for a big, hot-shot Internet company. Your mother must be so proud to see what you’re producing for Yahoo! Shine! Unless, of course, she’s like my mother. In that case she’d be appalled to see that you don’t know compliment from complement and that you think pharaoh is a proper noun:

She’d be mortified to think that you put an apostrophe in the plural Kardashians:

She’d be ashamed to realize that you didn’t bother to research Wilson Phillips and Chynna Phillips — just so you got the spelling right:

If your mother is like mine, she’d be grateful that you have a job — and that this article doesn’t have a byline.

You should have stayed in school

If I were a staid, buttoned-up type, I would tell this Yahoo! Shine writer, “Dear, please go back to school and learn a little more about writing in actual English.” Perhaps she would learn the difference between the homophones staid (which means “characterized by sedate dignity”) and stayed (which is the past tense of stay). But I’m just not that type. Instead, I’d like to tell her that this sucks:

Would that be the 1920s?

Keeping up with the times and spotting fashion trends? That’s not exactly what the editors at Yahoo! Shine are doing right now. They’re nearly a century late with advice on how to dress for work in the 1920s:

That’s pretty much the dumbest use of an apostrophe that I’ve ever seen. The apostrophe indicates the omission of a letter (or two) or a digit (or two). In this case, I’m guessing the only thing missing here is the writer’s knowledge of punctuation.

Phillip Garrido? No

Proving that they are equal opportunity when it comes to misspelling names, the writers at Yahoo! Shine come up with an unusual spelling of Phillip Garrido’s name:

So, it’s really NOT Abercrombie & Fitch?

Do the editors for Yahoo! Shine know something we don’t? Is Abercrombie & Fitch really not the name of the apparel store?

Those little quotation marks really threw me. Maybe they indicate that the caption refers to a movie or a book or a TV show, and not a store. Or maybe I’ve been wrong all these years. Next time I’m in “Barnes & Noble” I’ll have to buy a grammar book.

That’s no way to refer to the first lady

Showing a definite lack of respect for the wife of the president, the writer for Yahoo! Shine misspells Michelle Obama’s name: