When does school start?

I can’t wait until the kids are back in school again. Then maybe they won’t be hacking into Yahoo! Shine, and messin’ with the photo captions:

Man, there’s no way a professional writer could jam so many mistakes in so little space, right? Any high school graduate knows that the 1990s doesn’t have an apostrophe to make it plural. Any fourth grader could spot the typo in “after he divorce.” The staff on any high school newspaper knows you don’t use both “in addition” and “not only… but also” in the same sentence. And if you must use the correlative conjunction “not only… but also,” put the gosh darn words in the right place (and while you’re at it, correct that other typo): Diana was known not only for her amazing sense of style, but also for her charity work.

School can’t start soon enough.


In honour of the London Olympics

In honour of the Olympics taking place in London, the crew at Yahoo! Shine has chosen the non-American spelling of glamorous:

In the States, the preferred spelling is glamorous, and for some reason, glamour.

Olympian Hope Solo’s life of crime

Hope Solo, the American soccer star, was conceived in prison. As luck would have it, so was her father:

What’s even more shocking: The Olympian served time for embezzlement.

Did you see what the writer for Yahoo! Shine did there? She created some pretty funny misplaced modifiers. The phrase “conceived in jail…” modifies “father” and “after serving time…” modifies Hope. And no competent editor was around to modify those two sentences.

Damn you, river!

Cursing out a river isn’t going to stop it from flooding. Better to dam it than damn it, don’t ya think?

This damned homophone is from Yahoo! Movies.

French fries? Oui ou non?

Jumping into the fire from the frying pan, the writers on the Yahoo! front page can’t seem to agree on anything. They can’t agree if french fries needs a capitalized french:

They can’t even agree if they should agree. For those of you interested, and I know one or two of you are, the Associated Press says it’s french fries; the American Heritage Dictionary, French fries.

So, when it comes to fries, it’s a matter of house style. And at my house, the style is with ketchup, hold the vinegar.

After the breakup

After breaking up breakup, the writer misplaces an apostrophe. The ’70s were a decade; 70’s is something that belongs to 70. But, wait! That’s not all! You can learn more about John and Yoko:

John and Yoko were known for being attached at the hip. And they were known for being their casual street style. And this Yahoo! Shine writer is known for being language-impaired.

Is my planet red!

Uh, I mean, is my face red! I was writing about Mars, and I thought it was just a planet that was read. But no, it’s the Red Planet.

Maybe someone at yahoo.com will find out I made a mistake like that! I could get a promotion!

Literally, an embarrassment

So, this woman named Ms. Ross was betrayed by her husband and Kristen Stewart. Not only that, it literally occurred behind her back. All she had to do was turn around, and there they’d be, screwing like rabbits!

Of course, I speak figuratively of the rabbits. They weren’t literally screwing like bunnies. Just as they weren’t literally doing it behind anyone’s literal back.

Parading around without a clue

Once again the folks responsible for writing for the Yahoo! front page can’t quite agree on a simple issue: Is “parade of nations” a proper noun? One writer thinks not:

But another thinks it deserves the proper noun treatment:

No, no, it’s a common noun, implies another:

Still, this headline writer says it needs two capital letters:

OK, it’s settled: The version with the largest font wins.

Who hit the Caps Lock key?

Either someone accidentally pressed the Caps Lock key or someone has hacked the Yahoo! front page:

Or maybe these headlines were written by a second grader. Or maybe by Yahoo! staffers.

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