After reading this

After reading this, I realized that the Yahoo! Style writer doesn’t know what a dangling participle is:

According to that sentence, paramedics revived the child — which would be a little challenging since they allegedly performed that miracle after arriving at her location.

The dangling participial phrase “after reviving the child” requires a subject, which the reader expects to find immediately after the phrase. Thus, the writer (and her accomplice, the editor) told us it was paramedics. The correct wording would be something like: After the officer revived the child.

Don’t dangle that in public

Reading this on Yahoo! Style, I noticed a dangling participle:

coming of age

Unless the writer meant that Abercrombie & Fitch came of age in suburban New England in the early- to mid-aughts, there’s a problem with that sentence. That’s because the participial phrase, which begins with the participle coming, modifies the word that follows it. What the writer should have said:

Coming of age in suburban New England in the early- to mid-aughts, I thought Abercrombie & Fitch…

Oh, the writer also screwed up the hyphens, but you knew that.

Military units, glasses-wearing Oreos, and potential wrong

One writer, one article, lots of amusing gaffes. This must be Yahoo! Shine:

Some are minor, like neglecting the camel-case in YouTube. Others would embarrass any writer who takes pride in her work:

(A regiment is a military unit of ground troops or a  large group of people. A regimen is a system intended to promote health or other beneficial effect.)

A bad headpiece includes a hyphen. Not such a gross error. But an Oreo cookie wearing glasses? Brilliant!

(That’s actually a dangling participle — wearing is the participle (or verb acting as an adjective) and it’s dangling because the noun it’s supposed to modify is nowhere in sight. Instead, it appears to modify the noun following the participial phrase “wearing the glasses.”)

The eyes, it seems, are a single window:

And extraneous words are the essentially the same as unnecessary words:

So, let’s get to the point: This article sucks. It has its potential grammatical uses — but only as an example of what not to do.

Ack! Running out of red ink!

Help! I’m running out of red ink! There are so many errors in this article on Yahoo! Shine that my computer and my brain can’t handle them all. It starts with the first sentence, where a dangling participle indicates that the stars of TV were growing up:

I guess that could happen, but it would make more sense if it were the viewer growing up watching TV stars. I’m just sayin’.

Ugh. Did this writer really watch TV, or is she just making stuff up? Mallory wasn’t the middle sister on “Family Ties”; she was the middle child in a family with one son and two daughters. And she wore Fair Isle sweaters and laid-back styles:

There’s a hyphen missing in close-up:

There’s something missing here and I don’t mean just words. It’s accuracy: Denise Huxtable was part of the Huxtable clan. Kinda makes sense, doesn’t it?

The character played by Farrah Fawcett was Jill Munroe, not what the writer alleges here:

I don’t know why the writer had to tell us that something (was it blouses, dresses, or something called blouses dresses?) was “pastel colored” and not simply “pastel”:

Poof! I wish there were a magic way to get rid of the errors. What the hell is a “guys-guys”? It makes no sense to me. Holy crap, there’s another error!

No, no, no. There are no hyphens in the verbs “mixed and matched.” There just aren’t. And adding them is kinda kitschy:

I think the writer has confused the character Mary Richards with the actress who plays her, Mary Tyler Moore. Kinda a careless (or worse) error:

If a gal is from the southeastern portion of the States, she’s a Southern belle, with a capital S:

Whew! I think I need to go Office Depot and buy some more ink. Just in case this writer decides to inflict another article on the reading public.

When writers break the rules

When a writer doesn’t adhere to the common-sense rules of writing and grammar, the unintended results can be too funny.  The first thing I noticed about this teaser on Yahoo! Shine was the to that should be too:

By the time I finished, I was LMFAO. According to the writer, there’s something wrong with babysitters staying up too late and eating extra treats. Personally, I don’t know why babysitters would be going to sleep on the job — late or not. I’d be more concerned with sitters who let the kids stay up too late and who let them eat extra treats. But that’s me.

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