How to fix your punctuation problems

Some professional writers have no idea how to use punctuation. That’s clearly the case with the writer for Yahoo! Movies. This literary genius omits apostrophes in contractions like that’s and there’s, drops the hyphens in average-looking and dyed-in-the-wool, and sticks a hyphen in knockout:

So, what’s the fix for a mess like this? An editor or a proofreader, two things that seem to be in short supply at Yahoo!.

Please turn in your keyboard

When a writer is so out of touch with the English language, it’s time she consider another career. One that doesn’t involve a computer and keyboard. Even if she works for Yahoo! Shine.

When you can’t figure out where to put quotation marks around the titles of TV shows like “The Bachelor” and “Real World,” you may just be over your head, punctuation-wise. If you think that the past tense of compete is, uh, compete, you might rethink your career choice. And if you don’t know that segue is pronounced seg-way and that seguewayed would be pronounced seg-way-wade,  perhaps an English as a Second Language class should be in your future. 

In grammatical terms, those are turnoffs.

Oh, god, the tragedy that is your writing! Do you mean to tell us that someone on “The Bachelor” is a dyed-in-the-wool victim of sheep-shearing?

I get that writing isn’t a religious quest for you. If it were, perhaps you’d know that a singular noun like man should be referred to by singular pronouns like his, he, he’s, and him:

Please, for the sake of language-lovers everywhere, turn in your keyboard:

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