Not a Geography Bee winner?

Ya’ gotta wonder if this Yahoo! Style writer is a product of a public school education. I hope not.

rio sty

Does this geographical genius really believe that Rio is north of Havana? Does she really believe the Barry Manilow song was about Copacabana, the beach, and not Copacabana, the nightclub in New York?

I hope this writer didn’t attend public school because then I’d be really, really worried about the future of our country.

Stick to what you know

My advice to this Yahoo! Style writer: Stick to what you know. I have no idea what that might be, but it isn’t animal husbandry:

lactose sty

Lactose isn’t necessary for the digestion of milk; it is found in milk. The enzyme that’s necessary to break down lactose is lactase.

This is not Absolutely Fabulous

In a brief paragraph about the new flick “Absolutely Fabulous,” the Yahoo! Style staff manages to screw up the movie’s title, squish together two words (which I wouldn’t have bothered to mention, except there it is), and come up with a new preposition for the common expression reminisce about:

ab fam sty

Except for the differences, they’re the same

The staff at Yahoo! Movies seems to be just a little bit challenged, vocabulary-wise. And facial-hair-wise, too:

handlebar sty

That claim that Mr. Depp sported a handlebar mustache is a little misleading. This is the facial hair that the writers claim is called a handlebar mustache:

handlebar pic sty

And this is a handlebar mustache:

handlebar pic

They look exactly the same, don’t they? Well, no. They look completely different, but I quibble.

Just throwin’ it out there

Finding the perfect opening sentence of an article can be challenging for any writer. For this Yahoo! Finance writer, the challenge must have been so daunting that she decided to just throw a bunch of words out there and see what sticks:

solor cup fin

Unfortunately, those words stuck. It wouldn’t be so bad if she hadn’t included “among other party-related shenanigans,” since her list doesn’t include any shenanigans. A shenanigan is a prank or mischievous act.

It’s a really big number

Steve Madden is a popular women’s shoe manufacturer, founded coincidentally by Steve Madden. Last year the company brought in over 1.4 billion dollars in revenue. That’s a really big number. It’s so big that the Yahoo! Style writer just didn’t believe it. So she made up her own big number:

2 mill sty

I’m shocked. Shocked, I tell you.

I wasn’t surprised when I saw that the news editor for Yahoo! Style used the word continuously (which means “without stop or interruption”) instead of continually (which means “recurring frequently”). It’s a common mistake among Yahoo! staffers. I wasn’t surprised when I read the next sentence — I was shocked.

uk sty 1

It is beyond my comprehension how anyone — anyone — could make a mistake that profoundly stupid. (Actually the rest of that sentence makes no sense, either. I guess this “news editor” thought Mrs. Cameron would stop wearing clothes from the United Kingdom because it was leaving itself.)

Who does she turn to?

When a senior editor at Yahoo! Style writes an article, who does she turn to for fact checking? Judging from this excerpt, I’d say no one:

daytime sty

Because I am an old person and I remember watching “Peyton Place,” I can assure you it was not a daytime soap. It was a prime-time soap opera. Even though I’m familiar with the show, I Googled it to check that I’m not having a senior moment. It’s something this senior editor should try.

Are brides more immodest now?

There’s a new tradition at weddings that caught me by surprise. According to Yahoo! Style, the modern bride is now removing her garter belt so that the groom can toss it during the wedding reception:

garter belt sty

I have to wonder how the bride removes the garter belt. Does she do it in front of her guests or does she quietly repair to the ladies room? Imagine trying to remove a garment like this garter belt:

garter belt pic 2

It was so much easier when brides simply had a garter, which the groom tossed. Maybe it looked something like this:

garter blue

Of course, there is another explanation for this “tradition.” The writer has no idea that a garter belt is called a garter belt because it goes around the waist. The article that goes on the thigh is a garter.

 

I’m a writer, not a mathematician!

If you’re a fan of the articles written by Yahoo! staffers for Yahoo! Finance, you might want to reconsider your reading habits. I’m not sure you should trust the recommendations of anyone who thinks President Obama has been in office for nine years:

8 yrs in off fin

The president was first sworn in on January 20, 2009. He’s been in office for about 7 and one-half years.

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