Steve Jobs deserves better

When a well-known person passes away, the Web is awash with tributes. In a departure, the senior feature editor for Yahoo! Shine has written something of a tribute to the women in Steve Jobs’ life. Unfortunately, it turns out to be a grab bag of errors that’s more insulting than inspiring.

Mr. Jobs has been described as a private person and a brilliant egoist. Who knew that his wife Laurene shared those traits?

We all know that the writer made a mistake by placing that phrase before Laurene. But what can you expect from a writer who doesn’t know that Buddhist is a proper noun and the compound modifier billion-dollar needs a hyphen?

Mr. Jobs’ birth mother was a graduate student:

He was an 11-year-old:

Maybe this writer should just forget trying to use punctuation. She should just stick to using letters, numbers, and the Space bar, because she has no clue where to stick those little commas and apostrophes. And maybe she just ought to stick with writing in the present tense, because the past tense of some verbs (like forbid) alludes her (it’s forbade):

How many children did Mr. Jobs’ birth parents have? At least three, if you can believe this writer. There was Steve, his sister, and another sister:

(The fact is, his birth parents had another child, a daughter.) It looks like Piper is starting to take my advice and omit punctuation. She’s dropped a comma and the quotation marks around the book title. Good start!

Oops. She’s fallen back on her old ways and included an apostrophe where it doesn’t belong:

and a comma where it has no business being:

There’s more problems with her use of the Shift key when it comes to Zen Buddhist and Stanford business school. (Only the full name of the school, Stanford Graduate School of Business should be capitalized.) Readers can’t overlook the mismatch of program and foster (which should be fosters):

It’s meant to be some sort of tribute to the women in Steve Jobs’ life, but it’s really a tribute to carelessness and grammatical ignorance.

How to make Heidi Montag look even dumber

The trick to making anyone look dumb during an interview is to fill their quotes with grammatical mistakes, misspellings, and typos. Take this interview with Heidi Montag by the host of Yahoo! Shine‘s “The Thread.”  I’m pretty sure that Ms. Montag learned to sew:

and that she said “next door neighbor”:

This statement made to Ms. Montag is a bit of a hot mess:

but not as bad as this typo, which makes Ms. Montag sound even dumber than she is:

Congrats, Ms. “The Thread”! You’ve done the near-impossible. You must be so proud.

Can you make out what this means?

I can’t make up my mind. Did the writer on Yahoo! Shine mean make out or makeup?

If the writer was going for a verb, then makeout needs to be spaced out. The verb is make out.

Sophia Loren is number 400! Amy Poehler is 401!

Sophia Loren is number 400! Ms. Loren joins 399 other folks (real and fictional) whose names have been misspelled on Yahoo!. This time the actress was victimized by a writer for Yahoo! Shine — twice:

It’s the kind of mistake that gives me goose bumps. Other mistakes? Misspelling goose bumps and adding two hyphens where there should be none:

Finally, not content to mangle one celeb’s name, the writer moves on to Amy Poehler:

That’s 401! I wonder how long it will be before the list hits 500.

A devastating mistake

It’s a devastating mistake on the home page of Yahoo! Music:

Time to turn in your Girl card

Hand it over. I’m talking to you, the writer for Yahoo! Shine who can’t spell Manolos:

It can accommodate 2 Ms

I can’t believe folks are still misspelling accommodate. This time it’s on Yahoo! TV:

Quinch your thirst!

Quench your thirst for bad-writing humor on Yahoo! Music:

Apparently Gucci’s “Lemonade” video isn’t enough to quinch your thirst for hip-hop. You’ll have to do some quinching after watching it.

You could see it coming!

Can you foresee a dictionary in the future for the writer on Yahoo! Music?

Next time I’ll just write ‘appetizers’

It’s just easier than trying to spell hors d’oeuvres:

I wish the writer for Yahoo! Shine‘s “The Thread” had thought of that.

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