OK, I lied. This doesn’t illustrate how to write a simile. It illustrates how not to write one and it’s from Yahoo! Style:
Here’s a little advice for the Yahoo! News writer: Try using a dictionary.
A council is an assembly of people. As a noun counsel refers to a lawyer or lawyers. And lest you think that the writer had a momentary brain hiccup, here it is again:
I intend to follow the advice of a dictionary — not this writer’s example.
I could be urging the Yahoo! Style “news editor” to proofread her writing before she publishes it. But I won’t because if I did, we wouldn’t be treated to this bit of amusement:
I think a “gender neural dress code” specifies that male neurons must wear pants, and female axons must be covered at all times.
I thought that it was fairly shameful that the Yahoo! Style staff, who apparently all wrote this caption, didn’t know that each is a singular noun and that are wearing was the correct verb to go with it:
But then I read a few more words and realized the staff writers were pulling their readers’ legs! They were joking! Because nobody would seriously write that each model was wearing four jean styles. How would they even put on four pairs of jeans? I’ve never managed to pull on more than two at one time.
Something…something…something… followed by a claim that somebody is “upping the diversity anti,” by which they mean, increasing the opposition to diversity. I think. One can never be sure what a writer means when reading Yahoo! Style:
It’s also possible that the writer doesn’t know that there is an idiom “upping the ante,” and it means raising the stakes. It’s derived from poker, where the ante is amount that each player must throw into the pot before the cards are dealt.
Today’s really dumb statement comes to you courtesy of the brain trust that is the Yahoo! front page:
I don’t need to explain the monumental stupidity of that statement to my readers. But for the benefit of the writers and editors at Yahoo!, let me explain: It is 2016; 2012 was more than three years ago. Perhaps you don’t understand that nearly doesn’t mean “more than”; it means “almost, but not quite.”