I’m shocked. Shocked, I tell you.

I wasn’t surprised when I saw that the news editor for Yahoo! Style used the word continuously (which means “without stop or interruption”) instead of continually (which means “recurring frequently”). It’s a common mistake among Yahoo! staffers. I wasn’t surprised when I read the next sentence — I was shocked.

uk sty 1

It is beyond my comprehension how anyone — anyone — could make a mistake that profoundly stupid. (Actually the rest of that sentence makes no sense, either. I guess this “news editor” thought Mrs. Cameron would stop wearing clothes from the United Kingdom because it was leaving itself.)

Wise people from whom you can learn

To the Yahoo! Finance writer: There are plenty of wise people from who you can learn. Some of those people can teach you how to proofread:

from home fin

Are brides more immodest now?

There’s a new tradition at weddings that caught me by surprise. According to Yahoo! Style, the modern bride is now removing her garter belt so that the groom can toss it during the wedding reception:

garter belt sty

I have to wonder how the bride removes the garter belt. Does she do it in front of her guests or does she quietly repair to the ladies room? Imagine trying to remove a garment like this garter belt:

garter belt pic 2

It was so much easier when brides simply had a garter, which the groom tossed. Maybe it looked something like this:

garter blue

Of course, there is another explanation for this “tradition.” The writer has no idea that a garter belt is called a garter belt because it goes around the waist. The article that goes on the thigh is a garter.

 

I’m a writer, not a mathematician!

If you’re a fan of the articles written by Yahoo! staffers for Yahoo! Finance, you might want to reconsider your reading habits. I’m not sure you should trust the recommendations of anyone who thinks President Obama has been in office for nine years:

8 yrs in off fin

The president was first sworn in on January 20, 2009. He’s been in office for about 7 and one-half years.

What’s the excuse for this?

Somewhere in the deep recesses of the mind of a Yahoo! Answers writer, this makes sense:

excuses ans

To the rest of us, it’s just one non sequitur after another.

I can’t remain neutral

I just can’t remain neutral about this color palate on Yahoo! Style:

color palate sty

The duchess might have a great palate, but that means that her sense of taste is refined. Her outfit, however tasteful, is in a neutral color palette.

Here’s your high school student for the MLB draft

Yahoo! Sports offers “your prep kid” (which I assume is your son or daughter in high school) for Major League Baseball’s draft:

prep kid spo hp

Winning over a thirst

This fabulous mixed metaphor from Yahoo! Style won over my unquenchable thirst:

won over fin

Ha-ha. I kid. I am a kidder. That statement makes absolutely no sense. You can’t win over a thirst. You might be able to quench a thirst or slake a thirst — but not this thirst because it’s unquenchable.

Were they really eels?

Dory, the character from “Finding Nemo” and “Finding Dory” apparently comes from a family of long fish, according to the editors at yahoo.com:

fp long lost

Was the “long, lost family” made up of eels? I guess it could be worse for Dory: She could have a long-lost family.

Answering missing blanks

If you read Yahoo! Finance to gain knowledge about finance or for reliable financial news, you’ll need to do a little translation. Take this excerpt that’s about missing blanks, I think:

missing blanks fin

So when a blank goes missing, what’s left? A blank? And what kind of question does a missing blank ask that requires an answer, even if it’s only a partial answer? What the heck does this mean? I think it means the writer just threw out a lot of words without thinking about their meaning.

If you manage to make sense of that, I defy you to figure out the meaning of this sentence from the same article:

neither fin

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