Except for the differences, they’re the same

The staff at Yahoo! Movies seems to be just a little bit challenged, vocabulary-wise. And facial-hair-wise, too:

handlebar sty

That claim that Mr. Depp sported a handlebar mustache is a little misleading. This is the facial hair that the writers claim is called a handlebar mustache:

handlebar pic sty

And this is a handlebar mustache:

handlebar pic

They look exactly the same, don’t they? Well, no. They look completely different, but I quibble.

Mon dieu!

Mon dieu! Here’s a little intro to a video on Yahoo! Style that claims to teach us how to pronounce famous brand names. (I think the writer meant famous French brand names, but I quibble.) The problem? The writer has her own problems with French.

troiz sty

I can’t be sure, but I think the writer was trying to count to three in French, but misspelled trois. Then there’s something about a cat (chat) inside a dog (chien). Personally, I would have written chat et chien, which would be cat and dog. Let’s not overlook the misspelled Alliance and the missing hyphen in Roche-Posay.

But my favorite gaffe is in the actual video, where the writer just can’t get that accent right in Hermès:

hermes vid sty

Don’t you love those experts at Yahoo!? They’re illiterate in two languages!

Talents for talons

Everybody has some talents. I’m not sure what this Yahoo! Style writer’s talents are, but they seem to be something that a manicurist would file and paint:

talents 4 talons

I’m guessin’ one of her talents isn’t her vocabulary.

Just throwin’ it out there

Finding the perfect opening sentence of an article can be challenging for any writer. For this Yahoo! Finance writer, the challenge must have been so daunting that she decided to just throw a bunch of words out there and see what sticks:

solor cup fin

Unfortunately, those words stuck. It wouldn’t be so bad if she hadn’t included “among other party-related shenanigans,” since her list doesn’t include any shenanigans. A shenanigan is a prank or mischievous act.

Writing elicits guffaws from readers

What did the Yahoo! Sports writer do to elicit such a response? He did this:

illicit mlb

I almost spit out my nonfat, sugar-free vanilla latte when I read illicit (which means “improper or unlawful”) instead of elicit.

I’m shocked. Shocked, I tell you.

I wasn’t surprised when I saw that the news editor for Yahoo! Style used the word continuously (which means “without stop or interruption”) instead of continually (which means “recurring frequently”). It’s a common mistake among Yahoo! staffers. I wasn’t surprised when I read the next sentence — I was shocked.

uk sty 1

It is beyond my comprehension how anyone — anyone — could make a mistake that profoundly stupid. (Actually the rest of that sentence makes no sense, either. I guess this “news editor” thought Mrs. Cameron would stop wearing clothes from the United Kingdom because it was leaving itself.)

Wise people from whom you can learn

To the Yahoo! Finance writer: There are plenty of wise people from who you can learn. Some of those people can teach you how to proofread:

from home fin

Are brides more immodest now?

There’s a new tradition at weddings that caught me by surprise. According to Yahoo! Style, the modern bride is now removing her garter belt so that the groom can toss it during the wedding reception:

garter belt sty

I have to wonder how the bride removes the garter belt. Does she do it in front of her guests or does she quietly repair to the ladies room? Imagine trying to remove a garment like this garter belt:

garter belt pic 2

It was so much easier when brides simply had a garter, which the groom tossed. Maybe it looked something like this:

garter blue

Of course, there is another explanation for this “tradition.” The writer has no idea that a garter belt is called a garter belt because it goes around the waist. The article that goes on the thigh is a garter.

 

I’m a writer, not a mathematician!

If you’re a fan of the articles written by Yahoo! staffers for Yahoo! Finance, you might want to reconsider your reading habits. I’m not sure you should trust the recommendations of anyone who thinks President Obama has been in office for nine years:

8 yrs in off fin

The president was first sworn in on January 20, 2009. He’s been in office for about 7 and one-half years.

What’s the excuse for this?

Somewhere in the deep recesses of the mind of a Yahoo! Answers writer, this makes sense:

excuses ans

To the rest of us, it’s just one non sequitur after another.

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