At least it wasn’t tinnitus

Whew! Tinnitus, otherwise known as ringing in the ear, can be difficult to deal with. According to Yahoo! Movies, the  character Baby only suffered from ringing in his eardrums. That’s not so bad:

I’m not mathematical genius

I’m no mathematical genius, in fact, I’m barely competent in basic arithmetic. But I’m pretty sure that this claim on Yahoo! Style is off by at least 100 years:

Levi’s the company has been around since 1853, which is somewhat more than 50 years ago. I think. But I’m no mathematical genius, so I could be wrong.

Tousling the language

Proving once again that knowledge of English isn’t a requirement for a job writing for yahoo.com, the Internet giant unleashes this assault on readers:

Mr. Fallon didn’t tussle anyone’s hair; that would involve a vigorous struggle or scuffle. What he did was tousle the then-candidate’s hair. He messed it up, similar to what Yahoo!’s editors are doing with the language.

Find a lucrative career

Here’s some unsolicited advice to the editors of yahoo.com: Find a lucrative career that doesn’t depend on knowledge of English:

The adjective lucrative doesn’t mean substantial or significant. It means profitable.

Are plastic tires next?

When I read this headline on Yahoo! Style, I pictured Ms. Johnson wearing shoes we commonly refer to as “jellies” or maybe the much-reviled Crocs;

But, noooo. They were shoes made by Gucci. And according to the article, they are plastic. Except where “they are made entirely of rubber”:

Maybe next we’ll be reading about truck tires made of plastic.

This is not what it appeares to be

This appears to be a teaser from website written by an amateur author tapping at a keyboard in his mother’s basement:

It is actually from yahoo.com, which allegedly employs professional writers and editors. (But apparently no proofreaders.)

Because not bearing skin is creepy

Of course Princess Tiana bore skin, because going without  skin is creepy and possibly impossible. But that’s what Yahoo! Style tells us:

Looking at the picture, I can attest to the fact that the princess seemed to be bearing all her skin, although with that short skirt she bared a lot of it.

What rich people look like

Displaying a remarkable ability to tell a person’s financial worth by a mere picture, the writer for Yahoo! Style declares the cast of a Las Vegas show “well-heeled”:

Here’s the picture that led to that bit of wisdom:

Can you tell that they’re wealthy? Or would you use a different word to describe them? Maybe one that you actually know the meaning of and that actually applies to the picture. Then maybe you can tell the writer that well-heeled means prosperous or wealthy.

Blades schmades

You might call them shoulders, but to this Yahoo! Style writer, they’re shoulder blades:

Here’s that suit with its “aggressive shoulder blades”:

Those are some shoulder pads! One might even call them “aggressive.” Perhaps that’s what this writer, with her ignorance on basic human anatomy, meant.

No access to Google?

Apparently Yahoo! Style writers have no access to the Internet and search engines, so they’re reliant on their memories when they write. Unfortunately, some have a rather faulty memory:

The former Kate Middleton is really Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge.

%d bloggers like this: