Because killing himself before is nearly impossible

In an era of alternative facts, the editors at yahoo.com want to be sure that there’s no mistaking the sequence of events in Daryl Easton’s demise. First, he killed himself, then he was found dead:

fp-found-dead

Maybe a pick-me-up would give it some oomph

This little excerpt from Yahoo! Style could use a little oomph. A pick-me-up and some hyphens are in order:

umph-sty

The writer could probably use a little pick-me-up too, or at least a little pick-me-up-and-take-me-to-a-dictionary. There she might learn that umph, when it does appear in a dictionary, is an expression of disgust or skepticism.

Does it involve a time machine?

If the current Mrs. Trump is like the first ladies to come before her, does that mean that in the future there will be first ladies who were first ladies in the past before the current first lady of the present?

to-come-before-sty

I’m so confused. Why didn’t the Yahoo! Style writer just say, “Like the first ladies who came before her”? Or just, “Like the first ladies before her”? Or, “Like other first ladies” since all other first ladies came before the current Mrs. Trump? Unless she means the future first ladies from the past. That would involve a DeLorean and Doc Brown.

You know the old saying?

You know the old saying “it’s better to write fast than to write well”? No? That’s because I made it up after reading this on Yahoo! Style:

sleeves-sweater

I’m trying to come up with a reason for so many errors, like the missing punctuation in what should be ’70s, and the use of its for the  contraction it’s. And more missing punctuation and the misspelling of granddad. And why the writer would call this sweater a “sleeves sweater”:

sleeveless

It’s a sleeveless sweater or a vest or even a sweater vest.

But why so many errors? I can only surmise that the writer was under an incredible time crunch, that she’s not a great typist and that she hasn’t completely mastered English. And the company she works for has very, very low standards for content. Maybe even no standards.

At the risk of adding fuel to the fire…

If there’s a raging war about writing, you can bet I’ll be adding fuel to the fire, fighting for grammar, spelling, and the genitive case. I will not be adding fumes because that makes no sense. And neither does this gem from Yahoo! Beauty:

fumes-ablaze-sty

Maybe we should ask for a translation, part deux

I was going to ask Google for  simultaneous translation of this caption from Yahoo! Style, but I’m rethinking that decision. I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know what the writer was saying:

short-shorts

I almost had a stroke

I almost had a stroke when I read this on Yahoo! Style:

stroke-a-pose-sty

Did the writer really think that the past tense of strike was stroke? I’d say that she struck out with that word choice.

This seams wrong

If you believed what you read on Yahoo! Style (and why would you, really?) you’d expect pins along the hemline of this gal’s pants:

hemline-sty

But if you looked at the accompanying photo, you’d realize that the writer doesn’t know the difference between a hem and a seam:

hemline-pic

This is a shoo-in for worst mistake of the day

From Yahoo! Style:

shoe-in-style

The noun meaning a sure winner is shoo-in.

Kelsea Ballerini may be a year late

While the rest of us have been ringing in 2017, singer Kelsea Ballerini  has been a year behind us, according to Yahoo! Style:

ringing-in-2016-sty

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