High school diploma optional

I always thought that professional writers were college graduates, but after reading this on Yahoo! Style, I don’t think they have to be high school graduates. It seems that a fourth-grade education is more than adequate.

This is possibly the most outrageous of the writer’s claims. She apparently thinks matriculate is a synonym for graduate. It is not; it means “to admit or be admitted to a college or university”:

matriculated 1

That was my first hint that this writer hadn’t attended an institution of higher learning. And there’s no doubt she doesn’t hold a Ph.D. What does she think P.h.D. stands for anyway?

matriculated 2

Clearly, there were no classes in logic (or English) in her educational background. If there were, she would never have written this about a really, really good-looking college instructor name Boselli:

matriculated 3

So, Boselli proves that “beauty is nothing without the brain.” In other words, the poor man is a brainless Adonis. But somehow he managed to earn a Ph.D. in mechanical engineering? At least he has a degree (or two or three).

Ability to count optional

Thinking of applying for a writing or editing job at Yahoo! Makers, but hesitate because you have limited ability when it comes to basic arithmetic? No problem! You don’t need to be a graduate of Advanced Placement Calculus to land a position with this prestigious site. Heck, you don’t even need to be able to count to three. Two, maybe. But three? Totally optional. Just look at this headline from the site’s home page:

2 ingreds 1

Here’s the list of ingredients from the article:

2 ingred 2

I wonder which two ingredients she’ll actually use in the recipe.

Bold move

It was like being struck with a bolt of lightning when I realized that this wasn’t a typo: The writer for Yahoo! Style really thinks this is correct:

lightning bold

Sun prevention: Not a good idea

Preventing the sun is not a good idea, even if you could do that. The Yahoo! Style writer seems to think that Lady Gaga is somehow preventing the sun with sunglasses as big as what we would call a windshield:

sun prevention

I’ll have what he’s having

Jon Hamm put another drink on his bar bill, according to Yahoo! Celebrity:

addition omg

Something else should be weeded out

A brilliant writer for Yahoo! Style has weeded out “five of the best and buzziest acts” from South by Southwest for your consideration:

weeded out

Why would she eliminate acts that she thinks are unsuitable or unwanted? Why? Because she has no idea what weeded out means. I can think of one other person who should be weeded out.

Laundry: a remedial task

Doing the laundry is a remedial task, according to Yahoo! Style:

remedial sty

I guess you could say that; it remedies that pile of dirty clothes and wet towels. But it might also be called a menial task, but only by those who have at least the vocabulary of an eighth grader.

Georgia State and a parent

I have nothing to say about this on the Yahoo! front page, it’s just too funny for words:

fp went father

Dumbest Statement of the Day

No, it’s not “arrived to,” although that’s not very smart; “arrived at” is correct. What’s dumb is the Yahoo! Style writer’s contention that Pippa Middleton, sister of Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, is royalty:

royalty sty

Were they chocolate brown?

What makes a boot a “dessert boot”? Is it chocolate brown suede? Is it the inability to spell by a Yahoo! Style writer?

dessert

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 913 other followers

%d bloggers like this: