Here’s why you’ve never heard of Black Pash

The Yahoo! Style “editors” are not only completely unfamiliar with English grammar, but they’re also unfamiliar with fashion designers:

pash sty

They’ve never heard of Black Pash. That’s not exactly a surprise because Lindsay Lohan was not wearing a Black Pash dress. She was wearing a Pa5h dress that happened to be black. This is where I officially declare the “editors” idiots.

Woe is me!

Woe is me! I made the mistake of reading this headline on Yahoo! Style:

woes me 1

I couldn’t figure out if Mr. Blacc had won the writer over or bowled her over. Does it matter? This writer was obviously suffering from the encounter and it spills over into her writing.

This gal loves her some commas, which she sprinkles liberally throughout the piece along with an extraneous word or two. But the fun for us is trying to figure out how a black suit comes with a white jacket:

woes me 2

Let’s say fare-thee-well to “has fared him well,” because that makes no sense. This writer is obviously a tad vocabulary-challenged. Perhaps she meant “has served him well.” A dictionary might just serve her well.

woes me 3

Not a sports fan?

I suspect this writer for Yahoo! Style is not a fan of football or Roman numerals:

xvix super bowl

That XVIX makes absolutely no sense, Roman numeral-wise. It would have taken the writer about XV seconds to find out that the sports event is Super Bowl XLIX.

Ancient artifacts date all the way back to today

I’m appalled. It apparently took an entire team of  “Yahoo Style Editors” to come up with one of the most ridiculously ignorant statements I’ve read this week. Let’s skip over the arbitrary and totally incorrect comma, the mismatch of a subject and verb (which should be ranges), and focus on the B.C/A.D times:

bc ad style

It took the entire brain trust of editors to declare that ancient artifacts date back to “B.C/A.D times.” WTF? Are they really that ignorant? Do they not know that AD means all the time from the birth of Christ to the present day and beyond? (It seems like overkill to mention that they think that one period is enough for an abbreviation of two words.)

After that disaster, I suggest readers imagine a website with educated adults at the keyboards. And that ain’t Yahoo! Style.

You’re an idiot

Sometimes I just have to say it: The Yahoo! Style writer responsible for this lie is an idiot. Or lazy. Or uncaring about accuracy or journalistic integrity or (heaven forbid) football:

td style

The Super Bowl was the most watched television program in U.S. history. But I’m guessin’ this writer wasn’t one of the viewers. He probably overheard people talking about Malcolm Butler at the water cooler and deciding he didn’t need to do any actual research, made up Mr. Butler’s contribution to the Pats’ win. Malcolm Butler did not score the winning touchdown. He did not score any touchdown. He intercepted a pass and secured New England’s win.

Stick to what you know

He didn’t ask for my advice, but I’m going to give it to him anyway. To the Yahoo! Style writer, please stick to writing about subjects you’re familiar with, like jerseys and blouses with Peter Pan collars and Mary Jane shoes. If you’re going to tackle a subject like basketball, do a little research or ask for help from an editor familiar with writing about sports.

oklahoma thunder style

The team is the Oklahoma City Thunder. The score (which should list the winning score first) was 94–86.

Balloons take place of knife and fork!

If you think every table setting includes a plate, a knife, and a fork, think again. According to Yahoo! Makers you’re just not being creative enough. Here’s the caption for the photo of what the writer calls a “heart table setting”:

table setting 1

And here’s the photo:

table setting 2

That balloon sculpture has been set on a table, but it’s not a table setting. This is a table setting:

table setting

Go take a nap

I was thinking of taking the gloves off when writing about the mistakes in a recent article on Yahoo! Style. But then I took pity on the writer, who is probably just tired and overworked and still learning English. That’s the only explanation I could come up with when I read the very first paragraph:

accessory who

Who doesn’t know that who is used exclusively for human beings? Oh, this writer. The correct word is which. And who doesn’t know that it’s is short for it is or it has. This tired, overworked writer.

But the blunder that had me feeling really, really sorry for the writer was this:

accessory who husband

That’s gotta be the result of a muddled head, unable to think clearly due to stress, long hours, and short deadlines. Yeah, that’s the reason.

You write the top, I’ll write the bottom

In this installment of “You Write the Top, I’ll Write the Bottom,” I’m scratching my head, wondering if there were two errors in the sheriff’s office: one on a rug and one on a sign:

fp rug sign

Did anyone at yahoo.com read the article before writing this? Anyone? Maybe if they had, they wouldn’t be producing conflicting information.

I’m a writer, not a mathematician!

Don’t blame the writer for Yahoo! Style! She’s a fashion writer, not a mathematician. OK, so it doesn’t take great math skills (or even third-grade arithmetic skills) to know that 2004 isn’t “nearly a decade ago.” It’s more than a decade ago:

nearly decade style

I’m not trying to get into this writer’s head, but I can imagine she thinks that nearly means “a little more or a little less.” It doesn’t. It means “almost but not quite” (according to the American Heritage Dictionary).

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