Ability to count optional

You don’t need to be able to count to write for Yahoo Finance:

This writer can’t count and can’t get the name of the retirement account right: It’s 401(k). So, why would anyone trust the advice from this site?

I’m soooo confused

Sometimes I’ll read a sentence on Yahoo! and there’s numbers in the sentence, and I try to do a little first-grade arithmetic (cuz I don’t trust Yahoo! writers’ numerical abilities), and I wind up with a headache. This is one of those times. After reading this on Yahoo! Celebrity, I’m very confused (and in need of a Tylenol):

I guess Mr. Pitt and Ms. Jolie have been together for 12 years. But they’ve been married for two more? I’m so confused. Have they been married two more years than they’ve been together? Like, 14 years of matrimony? Is that even possible? Maybe they got married by proxy two years before they actually met. Or maybe the writer is a tad confused and meant they “had been together for 12 years and married for two.”

After after seeing the word

After after spotting the repeated word on yahoo.com, I noticed the picture of Queen Elizabeth surrounded by children:

And then I read the caption and was shocked. Did no one at Yahoo! notice that the children in the picture are far too young to be the queen’s grandchildren? Did no one realize they are the queen’s great-grandchildren?

What’s on the chopping block?

If I made as many mistakes in my job as this writer for Yahoo! Style, I’d be afraid my job would be on the chopping block:

At least I know the difference between a chopping block and an auction block, which is what she meant, but didn’t write. I also know not to put a hyphen between an adverb ending in -LY and the word following it.

Here’s why you’ve never heard of Black Pash

The Yahoo! Style “editors” are not only completely unfamiliar with English grammar, but they’re also unfamiliar with fashion designers:

They’ve never heard of Black Pash. That’s not exactly a surprise because Lindsay Lohan was not wearing a Black Pash dress. She was wearing a Pa5h dress that happened to be black. This is where I officially declare the “editors” idiots.

Woe is me!

Woe is me! I made the mistake of reading this headline on Yahoo! Style:

I couldn’t figure out if Mr. Blacc had won the writer over or bowled her over. Does it matter? This writer was obviously suffering from the encounter and it spills over into her writing.

This gal loves her some commas, which she sprinkles liberally throughout the piece along with an extraneous word or two. But the fun for us is trying to figure out how a black suit comes with a white jacket:

Let’s say fare-thee-well to “has fared him well,” because that makes no sense. This writer is obviously a tad vocabulary-challenged. Perhaps she meant “has served him well.” A dictionary might just serve her well.

Not a sports fan?

I suspect this writer for Yahoo! Style is not a fan of football or Roman numerals:

That XVIX makes absolutely no sense, Roman numeral-wise. It would have taken the writer about XV seconds to find out that the sports event is Super Bowl XLIX.

Ancient artifacts date all the way back to today

I’m appalled. It apparently took an entire team of  “Yahoo Style Editors” to come up with one of the most ridiculously ignorant statements I’ve read this week. Let’s skip over the arbitrary and totally incorrect comma, the mismatch of a subject and verb (which should be ranges), and focus on the B.C/A.D times:

It took the entire brain trust of editors to declare that ancient artifacts date back to “B.C/A.D times.” WTF? Are they really that ignorant? Do they not know that AD means all the time from the birth of Christ to the present day and beyond? (It seems like overkill to mention that they think that one period is enough for an abbreviation of two words.)

After that disaster, I suggest readers imagine a website with educated adults at the keyboards. And that ain’t Yahoo! Style.

You’re an idiot

Sometimes I just have to say it: The Yahoo! Style writer responsible for this lie is an idiot. Or lazy. Or uncaring about accuracy or journalistic integrity or (heaven forbid) football:

The Super Bowl was the most watched television program in U.S. history. But I’m guessin’ this writer wasn’t one of the viewers. He probably overheard people talking about Malcolm Butler at the water cooler and deciding he didn’t need to do any actual research, made up Mr. Butler’s contribution to the Pats’ win. Malcolm Butler did not score the winning touchdown. He did not score any touchdown. He intercepted a pass and secured New England’s win.

Stick to what you know

He didn’t ask for my advice, but I’m going to give it to him anyway. To the Yahoo! Style writer, please stick to writing about subjects you’re familiar with, like jerseys and blouses with Peter Pan collars and Mary Jane shoes. If you’re going to tackle a subject like basketball, do a little research or ask for help from an editor familiar with writing about sports.

The team is the Oklahoma City Thunder. The score (which should list the winning score first) was 94–86.