I just can’t go on

I tried reading an article on Yahoo! Style, but I just can’t force myself to read beyond the first paragraph. It is so stunningly awful in its grammatical mistakes and ignorance of basic English, that I gave up. Here’s what I found with just a cursory examination of the ‘graph; I’m sure I missed a few things that merit attention:

My experience tells me that this writer is not a native English-speaker. Her mistakes are ones that are common with people who did not grow up speaking and writing English. But there’s no excuse for not providing her with a competent editor, if only to save her from embarrassments like these:

  • 18 years old should be 18-year-old. He is 18 years old, but he is an 18-year-old model.
  • instagram follower should be Instagram followers.
  • on first name term seems to be a bastardization of on a first name basis.
  • to loose his cherries for the first time is not just a vulgar expression, it’s kind of a stupid metaphor. First, she means lose, not loose. And one can only lose one’s cherry (which is singular) once. So I’m really confused as to what this is purported to mean. Maybe it just means the writer is both careless and ignorant.
  • There’s a missing the in at Coachella music festival.
  • will also be is redundant when one ends a sentence with too.
  • been to famous music festival needs a the.

I’m sure I missed something, and I didn’t even touch on the run-on sentences. Please, Yahoo!, get this gal an editor!

Removing your mistakes has never been exciting

Yahoo! Style staff seems to include a writer who is still learning English. That’s OK. There’s nothing wrong with hiring ESL students, especially if they’re working for a trade school, where on-the-job training is part of the experience. If they’re employed by a for-profit company, then they need a competent editor to avoid publishing an embarrassing statement like this:

Try to ignore the obvious grammatical gaffe and focus on the allegation that removing layers [of clothing] has never been exciting. You won’t get an argument from me.

Throw it back

There are so many things wrong with this paragraph from Yahoo! Style that if I were writer’s editor, I’d throw it back at her and say, “Try again, honey. It’s not worth my time to try to fix this.”

throw-back

Is it really that bad? Yes. Yes, it is. An editor could change the pronouns their and they to its and it, since they seem to refer to Milan. And an editor could add the word the before Milanese’s and change that to the plural possessive Milaneses’. But the sentence still wouldn’t make any sense. It’s a straight-up (notice the hyphen?) mess. It’s a throwback (notice it’s one word?) to the days of our youth, before we knew about grammar and spelling and punctuation and sentences with actual verbs.

But that’s not all. The Cure should be The Cure’s and the random capitalization of some of those song titles has me scratching my head and dusting the dandruff off my keyboard. And the noun throwback is still one word.

Not done with Lea Michele

Yesterday we learned that the folks at Yahoo! Style have trouble spelling Lea Michele’s name. You might think the misspelling was a mere typo, but you would be wrong. In the article about Ms. Michele, the writer gets her name wrong twice in the opening paragraph:

lea-1

Not content to abuse Ms. Michele’s name, the writer took a sledgehammer to the English language with has sang (does anyone think that’s correct?), followed by a misplaced apostrophe in what should be Kohl’s, followed by a bit of nonsense that I think should be get to see which workout kicked and the ridiculous ideal of a perfect night (which I think is supposed to be idea of a perfect night).

The rest of the article doesn’t get any better. It contains more misspellings, more misplaced and missing punctuation, and a whole lot of unintelligible word salad. I’ve seen better writing in a high school newspaper. Maybe I should stick to reading that.

My money is in two colors, too

If I had $1715 like the Duchess of Cambridge, it would be in two colors, too: Dark green and light green. So, I don’t know what the big deal is on Yahoo! Style:

miss-wd-sty-hp

Geez, you’d think the writer would say something about her dress in 2 different colors.

Headline needs to read aggressively

Here’s why you need to proofread before you publish: You don’t want your audience to think that they’re reading  Yahoo! Finance, where headline writers drop words and never pick them up:

meeds-to-bought-fin

All writing serves a purpose

All writing serves a purpose. And the purpose of this article from Yahoo! Style may be to illustrate what not to do. First lesson: If you’re including names in your article, spell them correctly. It’s not enough to just misspell them in the same way. If you’re writing about Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Google her name.

huntingdon-1

Second, if you’re writing about editors-in-chief, don’t capitalize the title and don’t look like an idiot by forming the plural incorrectly. And make sure you’re confident enough in your English to include the article the in “in the second row” and “in the third row.”

Don’t follow the example of this gal. She’s nothing if not consistent. When she misspells a name like Stella Tennant, she sticks with it. None of this silly Googling a name to check the spelling:

huntingdon-2

Finally we encounter this gem, a sterling example of what not to do:

huntingdon-3

The takeaway: Read everything you write before you publish it. Read everything you write before you publish it.

Trump cut short

People must be getting nervous over at Yahoo! Finance, and it’s affecting their work. It looks like a little p ran out of Mr. Trump:

trum fin

And instead of merely appealing the EU tax decision, Apple will appeal against it, which might mean something to the writer, but to me means the writer is unfamiliar with English:

appeal against fin hp

I don’t know why Apple will appeal the decision. Heck if I owed a $14.50 tax bill, I’d just pay it:

14.5 news hp

Maybe it’s the principle of the thing. Or maybe the stress is getting to those folks at Yahoo!.

Talk about abrupt!

If there’s anything in this world that is abrupt, it’s this sentence on yahoo.com:

fo abrupt of

I think it’s like the word game Mad Libs, except readers are supposed to supply the missing word or words. So, gimme a noun and we’ll plug it into “the abrupt noun of Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort.”

U.S. 8-year medal drought finally over

Forget what you think you know about Michael Phelps, the Final Five U.S. gymnasts, and Simone Manuel. It’s all a hoax. The United States of America hasn’t won a medal in the Olympics since 2008. At least until this boxer came along:

fp first medal

The long drought of losses and disappointment at the Olympics is finally over. At least according to Yahoo!.

Ha-ha. I kid. The truth is, Mr. Hernandez won the first medal in boxing for the U.S. since 2008. It’s just a teensy, weensy, itsy, bitsy detail that some editor forgot to mention.

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