How many is too many?

How many mistakes are acceptable in a sentence? Zero? One? Two? Three? That’s what seems to be okie-dokie over at Yahoo! Style, where the writer misspelled French Riviera, used the wrong preposition in what should be arriving at, and banged out dressed instead of dress:

rivera sty 2

In baseball, that would be three strikes, sending the batter to the dugout. I wonder where Yahoo! sends its writers who strike out. Oh, yeah. Yahoo! sends them to their next writing assignment.

The horizon is horizontal

This is Gigi Hadid.

horiz sty pic

Now that I have your attention, please note the caption that accompanied that photo on Yahoo! Style:

horiz sty 1

Is there anything “horizontal” about the cut-out in Ms. Hadid’s dress? Is there any way to tell the writer that horizontal is not the correct word? The writer meant vertical. Perhaps the writer can be reminded of the mnemonic device we learned in fourth grade: The horizon is horizontal.

Dumbest Statement of the Day

I’m going to take a wild guess and say that the writer for Yahoo! Celebrity is not a college graduate:

matriculation cel

A college graduate would know that matriculation is admission into a college or university; it is what happens about four years before graduation.

How do you get a ride underwater?

How do you hitch a ride in the ocean? You call an Uber diver! Ha-ha! I crack myself up. And this cracks me up, too:

fp uber diver

Today’s laugh was brought to you by the comedians at yahoo.com.

Was the other coke involved?

Was the editor involved with a little coke before writing this headline for yahoo.com?

fp coca-coca

Let’s see how long it takes the geniuses at Yahoo! to change that typo to Coca-Cola and to change infamous to famous. (Infamous is not a synonym for famous; it means notorious or well-known for a very, very bad reason.) Maybe they’ll also move that question mark so that it’s outside the quotation marks.

Ciara’s what?

What was Ciara’s thing that gave someone a lap dance? Was it the singer’s backup dancer that gave the lap dance? The singer’s pet monkey? What? Inquiring minds want to know what the Yahoo! Celebrity writer meant:

singers apos cel

What were you looking at?

What was the Yahoo! Style writer looking at when writing this photo caption?

horizontal 1

It wasn’t the Narcisco Rodriguez jumpsuit, because the designer is actually Narciso Rodriguez. Need further proof? The writer alleges that the jumpsuit has a horizontal cut-out. I guess if Ms. Weisz were lying on her side, that would be correct:

horizontal 2

Are you depleting your savings?

U.S. consumers are depleting their financial resources, say the folks at the Yahoo! front page:

fp exhausting

That’s just a preposterous claim, isn’t it? In fact, it’s something the writer made up, because the accompanying article says nothing about anyone “exhausting their finances.” I think the only thing that’s exhausted is the writer, who probably has no idea what exhausting means.

The more you toot…

Tooting a TV show doesn’t sound like fun. In fact, it sounds downright painful. But that’s what the Kardashians did, according to the Yahoo! Style editors:

to toot sty

Toot is slang for snorting coke. And for farting, a word I was not allowed to use as a child. So, I adopted the word toot, over my mother’s objection. She preferred the euphemistic “passing wind” or even better, not mentioning that bodily function at all. But I thought tooting was hilarious when I was about seven, when I learned this poem:

Beans, beans the musical fruit.
The more you eat, the more you toot.
The more you toot, the better you feel.
So eat your beans at every meal!

The Kardashians are now tooting their show while it might be more productive to tout it.

Fewer mistakes would be better

What could make Yahoo! Makers better? Fewer errors, like this misuse of the word less:

less trips diy

If you’re writing about countable items (like mangoes, rolls of toilet paper, or Republicans running for the president), use fewer or fewest; otherwise, use less or least.

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