What’s stationary?

Here’s a headline on Yahoo! Makers that tells us exactly nothing:

diy stationary

First, consider whether DIY (which is short for “do it yourself”) is synonymous with homemade. It is, isn’t it? So why use both? Then there’s the adjective stationary (which means “not moving”) that lacks a noun to modify. What’s the missing word? Does this headline refer to a homemade stationary bike? Judging from the picture, I think this headline is telling us something: The writer doesn’t know the difference between not moving and writing paper (which is stationery).

If you forget which is which, try this mnemonic: Both stationery and letter contain ER.

Embossed and not moving

Confused about what to call writing paper? Is it stationary or stationery? If the writer for Yahoo! Style had thought about it, he might have come up with the correct homophone. If a company called Terrapin Stationers produces paper, then it might be called stationery:

stationary sty

If you can’t spell it, should you be writing about it?

Oh, com’on! You’re writing about a subject that you can’t even spell? Really? How the heck did the writer for Yahoo! DIY not know that stationery is writing paper and stationary is a something standing still?

stationary diy

Don’t move!

I’m so glad they’ve finally made seed-paper that doesn’t move. According to an article on Yahoo! Shine, we tree-huggers will no longer have to chase after that eco-friendly  paper, since it’s now stationary and ain’t goin’ nowhere:

stationary shine

If you’re looking for other stationary items and you’re in Portland, Maine, check out this store:

stationary trav

Yahoo! Travel reports that it sells stationary items, but doesn’t elaborate on what those non-moving items are. Since the store also sells cards, you might look for stationery while you’re there.

That’s the way I like my supplies: standing still

I’ve found that if I go to get supplies, and they’re moving around, forcing me to chase them all over the stockroom, I get really, really frustrated. That’s why I like stationary supplies. And I’m not the only one. There are others who prefer stationary supplies, according to Yahoo! Movies:

junk food 1

Now if I wanted notebooks, writing paper, envelopes, and so forth, I’d go to a stationery store where I’d expect all that stuff to remain stationary on the shelves.

It’s not just the availability of “stationary supplies” in this article that is problematic for me. It’s the lack of agreement between a subject (availability) and its verb (which should be is):

junk food 2

Oh, and the misspelling. That’s problematic for me. And the refusal of the writer to use a spell-checker, which would have found the misspelling. That’s problematic, too.

Know won wood right sew pourly

These eras halve two bee scene too bee believed.

Due ewe no the difference between bite and byte? The writer four Yahoo! News doesn’t:

bytes news

Eye think an editor is kneaded to rain inn the gaffs on Yahoo! Sports‘ “Prep Rally”:

reining sports pr

and on Yahoo! omg!:

bare for bear omg

This whirred on Yahoo! Shine has a hole different meaning from the write whirred:

stationary shine

and sew does this won:

pair shine

That store ain’t goin’ nowhere

You can’t buy Kim Kardashian’s shower invitation at a stationary store (which most stores are) — or even a stationery store. At least that’s the message I got from this photo caption on Yahoo! Shine:

stationary store shine

It’s not going anywhere

Rubber stamps, cards, and envelopes. Whatever you make with that, it’s not going anywhere:

The clever writer for Yahoo! Shine meant stationery (which is writing paper, envelopes, and the like), not stationary (which means “not moving”).

Push-up bras, missing characters, and immobile Playboy bunnies

Omitting the hyphens in push-up and nine-year-olds is bad. But immobile Playboy bunnies? Hilarious:

Thanks go to  Yahoo! Shine for this lesson in a homophone gone terribly wrong.

They’re not going anywhere

Don’t try mailing the custom note cards described by Yahoo! Shine:

They’re stationary and won’t be going anywhere.


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