Pants or asparagus?

Does a music steaming service entertain someone pressing pants or preparing vegetables?

Thanks to Yahoo! TV for the first laugh of the day.

Keep those chickens out!

If you’re concerned about chickens invading your favorite cafe, fear not! Yahoo! Food introduces you to cafe-free eggs, obviously laid by cafe-free hens:

What were you thinking?

I could be urging the Yahoo! Style “news editor” to proofread her writing before she publishes it. But I won’t because if I did, we wouldn’t be treated to this bit of amusement:

I think a “gender neural dress code” specifies that male neurons must wear pants, and female axons must be covered at all times.

Is that like road rage, but with a golf club?

John Daly’s driving rage appears to be like road rage, but with a golf club:

Thanks to the genius writers and editors on the Yahoo! front page for the best typo of the day.

Is that like ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’?

Does your marriage need a little pick-me-up? Are you looking to improve the quality of your marital relations? Look no further than Yahoo! Screen, where you can “transport yourself to an ancient realm of Far Eastern marital artistry”:

Is that a euphemism?

So that’s what Republicans call it — brainstorming! I would have thought it involved a much lower part of the body:

Thanks to Yahoo! News‘ “The Ticket” for explaining what the GOP was doing after the 2012 erection election.

War leads to divorce

If your marriage is suffering from all-old war, then a divorce might be in your future:

If you rely on a spell-checker to catch all your typos, then you might be a writer for Yahoo! Shine.

Possibly the worst ‘reporting’ of 2012

In what is likely to be the worst bit of writing from a Yahoo! News staffer — and possibly the year’s worst writing by a professional anywhere — I feel silly pointing out the missing hyphen in high-profile. It’s the other errors that are egregious and a disgrace to Yahoo! and the writing profession.

It starts with the writer’s allegation that there was a trial on (yes, the writer said on) actual priest molesters:

Let’s be clear: No actual priests were molested. There was, however, a trial of priests accused of molestation.

But wait, there’s more! There’s a football couch (which is where you sit to watch football if someone has already staked out the recliner) and it’s called Joe Paterno:

And there’s still more! The “writer” should have removed of and paid more attention to the child development center. I don’t think we needed to be told that the football program was stripped of football victories. And we certainly didn’t need the out-and-out lies about Jerry Sandusky’s denials throughout the trial (he never spoke or testified during the trial) and his sentence (he faced a maximum of 442 years, but was sentenced to 60):

I don’t know who wrote this pile of crap. The article has no byline. Smart move.

Maybe there’s a better title

A former member of Cheetah Girls is filming a new reality series, or so says Yahoo! Shine:

Maybe they ought to call it “Hog Girls.”

That’s how I like my hell

Yup, that’s how I like to keep my hell — well-maintined.

Thanks for the chuckle goes to Yahoo! News‘ “The Sideshow.”