You have no idea what to do with it, do you?

The Yahoo! Beauty writer responsible for this has no idea when to use an apostrophe:

Here’s a hint, don’t use it in a plural noun and put it in a possessive noun. Now ask a colleague to explain what a noun is.

The Kardashian’s what?

Thanks to the Yahoo! Style writers, we now have an opportunity to fill in the missing word in an online version of  Mad Libs;

kardashians-apos

Is the missing word butt: Thanks to the Kardashian’s butt? Hard to tell since we don’t know which Kardashian this caption refers to. You’d think it would refer to all Kardashians, wouldn’t you?

You know the old saying?

You know the old saying “it’s better to write fast than to write well”? No? That’s because I made it up after reading this on Yahoo! Style:

sleeves-sweater

I’m trying to come up with a reason for so many errors, like the missing punctuation in what should be ’70s, and the use of its for the  contraction it’s. And more missing punctuation and the misspelling of granddad. And why the writer would call this sweater a “sleeves sweater”:

sleeveless

It’s a sleeveless sweater or a vest or even a sweater vest.

But why so many errors? I can only surmise that the writer was under an incredible time crunch, that she’s not a great typist and that she hasn’t completely mastered English. And the company she works for has very, very low standards for content. Maybe even no standards.

Editor’s worst punctuation moment

A Yahoo! Style editor’s worst punctuation moment may have come when he or she omitted a teensy apostrophe in what should be a possessive:

beyonces-sty-hp

Not done with Lea Michele

Yesterday we learned that the folks at Yahoo! Style have trouble spelling Lea Michele’s name. You might think the misspelling was a mere typo, but you would be wrong. In the article about Ms. Michele, the writer gets her name wrong twice in the opening paragraph:

lea-1

Not content to abuse Ms. Michele’s name, the writer took a sledgehammer to the English language with has sang (does anyone think that’s correct?), followed by a misplaced apostrophe in what should be Kohl’s, followed by a bit of nonsense that I think should be get to see which workout kicked and the ridiculous ideal of a perfect night (which I think is supposed to be idea of a perfect night).

The rest of the article doesn’t get any better. It contains more misspellings, more misplaced and missing punctuation, and a whole lot of unintelligible word salad. I’ve seen better writing in a high school newspaper. Maybe I should stick to reading that.

Bad Santas

From Yahoo! Style we get bad Santas — spelled with an unnecessary (and incorrect) apostrophe:

santas-apos-sty

Your apostrophe

Someday the writers and editors at Yahoo! Style might actually display some knowledge of English grammar. This is not that day:

trump-apos-s-sty

The plural of a name that doesn’t end in S is just the name with an added S, like this: the Clintons, the Obamas. (Adding an apostrophe makes the name a possessive, not a plural.) If the name ends in S, make it plural by adding an ES. But under no circumstances does the plural involve an apostrophe. Unless you’re writing about Mr. and Mrs. Apostrophe; then they’re the Apostrophes.

Friends’ and families’ faces fall

If well-educated editors overlooked this error on Yahoo! Style, their friends’ and families’ faces would fall to the floor:

friends-and-familys-sty

I’m assuming that the friends and families (there’s probably more than one family involved) have separated faces, so there needs to be an apostrophe after the S on both friends’ and families’.

When in doubt

When in doubt about forming the possessive of a word, just follow the example of this Yahoo! Style writer:

friendss-sty

Does the apostrophe go before the S? After the S? Unsure? Put it before and after! Turn your dilemma into dilemma-ade!

Back to school for you!

The editor for Yahoo! Style should head back to elementary school to learn the importance of the apostrophe:

girls boys no apo sty hp

Without the correct punctuation (and that would be two apostrophes), that headline leaves me scratching my head and dusting the dandruff off my keyboard. Were one girl’s outfits responsible for one boy’s bad grades? Or were many girls’ outfits responsible for many boys’ grades? Or was it one girl’s outfits and many boys’ grades? Or many girls’ outfits and one boy’s grades? Oy, now I’ve got a headache. I think I have to go lay down.

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