‘Crazy punctuation’: Who wrote that?

Somebody at yahoo.com probably misunderstood a punctuation rule when it comes to quotation marks:

fp-colon-quot

In the U.S., commas and periods go before a closing quotation mark. (In other English-speaking countries, they go after the quotation mark.) But, regardless of country, two punctuation marks never go before a closing quotation mark: Colons and semicolons.

Back to school for you!

The editor for Yahoo! Style should head back to elementary school to learn the importance of the apostrophe:

girls boys no apo sty hp

Without the correct punctuation (and that would be two apostrophes), that headline leaves me scratching my head and dusting the dandruff off my keyboard. Were one girl’s outfits responsible for one boy’s bad grades? Or were many girls’ outfits responsible for many boys’ grades? Or was it one girl’s outfits and many boys’ grades? Or many girls’ outfits and one boy’s grades? Oy, now I’ve got a headache. I think I have to go lay down.

When did that happen?

When did 14-year-olds become preteens? Oh, when they were born and stayed preteens up until the day before their 13th birthday — at least according to everyone who isn’t a writer for Yahoo! Style:

preteen sty

I know that Yahoo! writers and editors are not good with numbers. They confuse millions and billions, think that digits and letters are the same thing,  and just don’t get percentages. But you’d think they’d know that fourteen isn’t a preteen because teen is part of the word.

What am I missing here?

I keep reading and reading this headline on Yahoo! Style and can’t figure out what word or words are missing:

williams apos sty

Did Mr. Williams’ friend have a zombie wedding shoot? Or his mother? Or his yoga instructor? Leaving out a word is almost as bad as slipping in an extraneous apostrophe. It sooo confusing.

In-house editor needed

If ever there was a site that needed a competent in-house editor, it’s Yahoo! Style. Someone who knows that in-house needs a hyphen would be a start:

pedigree style

Someone who knows that “designed in house from a pedigree of experienced industry personnel” makes absolutely no sense could be helpful. It would be great if that person knew to shorten that to “designed in-house by experienced industry personnel.” Someone who knew that “boasts their apparel to be” also is nonsense and should be something like “boasts their apparel is.” An in-house editor would be great. Heck, even an outhouse editor could be great.

Hall of Fame error

If there were a Hall of Fame for the overuse of hyphens, Yahoo! Sports would be in it:

hall-of-fame sp

There’s no reason to hyphenate a proper noun, even when it’s used as an adjective.

The Kardashians aren’t possessive

The Kardashians might have a lot of possessions, but they’re not possessive. The plural is Kardashians, without an apostrophe. Please ignore what you read on Yahoo! Beauty:

kar

Who stitched this together?

Whoever stitched together this sentence for Yahoo! Sports did a pretty good job, if you ignore the misspelling and the missing hyphen in the compound adjective gruesome-looking:

stiches spo

A pitcher with only one hat

I’ve read that some baseball players would like to see a Home Run Derby that was for pitchers only. It’d be a pitchers-only derby. It would not be the pitcher’s only derby that Yahoo! Sports alleges:

pitchers only

What’s missing?

Everybody knows that an apostrophe can be used to form a contraction, where it indicates an omitted letter. So what letter was the Yahoo! Style writer omitting when she wrote this?

ole fashioned sty

Is ‘ole fashioned short for pole fashioned? role fashioned? mole fashioned?

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