Jennifer Lawrence, an almost boy, and a near-death experience

OK, so I read this on Yahoo! Celebrity, thought some about it, and am now able to provide simultaneous translation:

First this is about Jennifer Lawrence and an almost lad, which is a male who is almost a boy, but not quite. By “her demise” the writer means her death, even though Ms. Lawrence was ascending a few stairs when she almost fell, but didn’t. So, I think a near-lad led to her near-death. Unless the writer is wrong, meant led instead of lad, and didn’t know that demise means death.

Happy Mother’s Day a day early

Yesterday was Sunday; it was also Mother’s Day in the U.S. — except for one Yahoo! Travel writer, who will be celebrating Mother’s Day tomorrow,  the second Tuesday in May:

Where the heck did that writer get that information? Mother’s Day is the second Sunday in May and has been the second Sunday in May for at least 100 years.

Are proofreader’s days are over?

Yup, I’d say that the days are numbered for the proofreader for Yahoo! Music:

Oh, right. I forgot. Yahoo! doesn’t have proofreaders; the Internet giant doesn’t think they’re necessary.

Their what?

What faced foreclosure? I’m reading this on the Yahoo! front page and can’t figure out if the DeCesare’s dog faced foreclosure or something else faced foreclosure:

I guess there’s another possibility: The writers for yahoo.com don’t know how to form the plural of a name. If the name doesn’t end in S, you form the plural by adding an S, not an apostrophe and an S.